A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for over a year and she has just split up with me... Things to firstly note are that she is 30 and has previously been married and got divorced about 2 years ago. Since then she has moved into her own house and worked hard to keep up with the cost of living. I on the other hand am 22 and still live with my parents but have spent most nights with her along the way because we just want to be together. I am just getting started in my career and have no money to help her out with but have assured her I'll help as soon as I can.The first 6 months of our relationship was amazing, and I mean the time of my life - we fell completely in love - took a few holidays etc. I then lost my job (trading in the city) and I became pretty depressed, she also was brought down with me. Gradually over the next 6 months she seemed numb to my feelings - I may have been depressed but I did everything in my power to try and please her - meals, handmade gifts, helped with housework even though I didn't live there and more. I feel much of this went over her head and it didn't register to her that I was putting alot of effort in to please her despite hard times... But I didn't mind because I love her.She recently went to Florida to visit family for 2 weeks and I picked her up from the airport on her return. When we got home she said she doesn't think we're right for eachother any more as we are in very different places.I have been distraught and even more depressed, although I am now working again in the same job but for a different company. We had a chat together a few nights ago and basically we agreed on the fact that I need to put my mind into my work for a few months and she needs to sort her head out as she has felt trapped for a while - and we basically left it as hope for the future. She is a very social person - more so than me - and since we have been together she hasn't really seen much of her friends as we have done a lot together. My conclusion is that she basically just needs to get back in contact with some old friends and have some space from me which is confusing as it shouldn't need to be this way.Anyway we said we will remain in contact and acted all happy with the situation and the hope that we will sort ourselves out and be reunited again to a level of happiness of at least the beginning of our relationship. However, I miss her like crazy, and the only reason I have settled for us separating for a while is because I love her so much. The main issue she has had is that she doesn't want to feel pressured, so I thought I will give her the space she needs and act fine with it... which is far from the truth. I am living in hope that we will be OK in the end and should it not work out, I don't see how I will overcome this because I am in love with her that much.I want to ring and text her still but I don't want to seem desperate. I rang her a few days ago and we had a chat but since then she hasn't got hold of me and yet I feel desperate to talk to her. I feel like I really want to just speak to her but my head is telling me to just leave it and leave her to get hold of me. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, at what point do we call that absence too long??I really love her and I told and showed her this every day. All I can think of is how amazing our relationship is when we're both feeling it, however it hasn't been like that for a while.I would much appreciate any advice you have.
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