A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my partner 10 years he is 18 years older than me, I'm 30 years old. My partner has 2 children from a previous marriage and we have 1 child together.When we met my partner wanted more children and agreed it was definitely something that would happen for us, we had our child 4 years into our relationship and he didn't tell me until 2 years after this that he definitely didn't want any more. I'm desperate for another child and would also love to get married but my partner doesn't want either of these things can our relationship still work will he ever change his mind. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2015): I know you really want to have children, but I think that at his point in his life, he is over and done with the children idea and probably isn't going to change his mind about that. I think instead you should come to terms with it, because if you pressure him into having children when he doesn't want any, not only is he going to resent the child, but he will resent you. And I'm not quite sure about the marriage thing, since it's been ten years, and usually men who aren't married at this age generally have no intentions to be. I would say take things one step at a time and if things are still the same within the next 2 or 3 years, then things probably won't change and it's up to you to decide what action your going to take.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (13 January 2015):
 When there is a disagreement on child bearing, I'm afraid to say it gets into an entire new realm of difficulty. Since life is primarily reproduction, the subject can cause so much misery/happiness, and in relationships, resentment. He has had his three and is understandably ready to be finished. However it was very selfish of him to keep you falsely in hope so he could keep you all these years.
Unfortunately, there's no compromise that I know of. He will most Lilly forever resent the child if he gives in, or you will forever resent him if he does not and you don't get your second child.
I see only two options: impregnate yourself through a sperm bank, or adoption and expect no responsibility from him; or break off with him:(
Giving up won't be worth it when your past your child bearing age and it's too late and you have regrets for not furthering your blood line.
As for marrying him, I'm not sure what difference it will make in a relationship to be legally vowed. If you feel strongly about it, then I suppose that's another factor. I really wish you luck - I am sorry for your predicament. Please do update us
~SY
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