A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 21 and pregnant. About 5, almost 6 months along. And I'm having trouble with the family thing. I love my boyfriend, and his family has been so supportive of our relationship, of us. WellI should say his mom and his dad have. But I just really cannot stand his sisters.I don't care for any of his friends or the friends of the family. Of all the people in his life I likehis mom, his dad, and his best friend(in small doses). I can honestly say I don't want my son around any of the rest of them or their children, ever. This is obviously a problem because we plan on getting married and sharing our lives together.I would feel great if we moved away from his family and saw them maybe 2 or 3 times a year haha.And to make matters worse. He doesn't particularly care for my family either. My mom has treatedhim terribly and talked about him in the worst kind of way. She is not at all supportive of ourrelationship. And my sister, is nice to him and supportive of us but she can be immature andjealous and down right mean at times. so this has kind of deterred him from wanting to meet and interact with the rest of my family. I honestly think if he didn't have to see my family but 2 or 3 times a year he'd also be happy lol. But this is still my family. I love them and want them to be around to see my son grow up. My family isn't perfect but they have goals, education, and are loyal to one another. This is something my boyfriend's family does not have at all. I don't want them to influence my son in a negative way. The real problem is his ENTIRE family is here in the town we live in. Hell his entire life is here.I hate this town we live in but it is where he grew up and I honestly think he is afraid to stepoutside of his comfort zone. He also just got a really good job in this town so all my hopes of leaving are pretty much dashed. I don't think I'd hate the town so much if I could make friends andhave money and a car to be somewhat independent. But I have none of that. And this is a small townfull of catty women. It is rare to meet genuinely nice people so I'm pretty much alone :/Now what can i do? I'm having a baby and will be stuck in this town with him and his family, whilemy mom and sister will most likely move on within the next couple of years. Should I talk to him about how I feel? Or Should I keep my feelings to myself in order to keep the peace? I'd like to move away from both his family AND mine to a new city where we can do our own thing, build our own lives together. But I know my boyfriend. He's afraid to even go out of townfor a few hours. I doubt I could ever get him to pick up and move his life
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): You are right. These pregnancy hormones are making me a mess! And his family would be there to help. I just don't care for them. Him and his family aren't particularly close but they are apart of his life. I'm not going to talk to my boyfriend about this because he has a million things on his plate right now and he's probably, like you said, nervous to be a dad. I'll just have to grin and bear it for the time being.
Thanks for the advice!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): I know you may not want to hear this but the fact is that you are at a point in the pregnancy where hormones are raging and what little things just bothered you before are now a huge issue. I would suggest staying personally. You are still young and as you said looking to start your life. If you where to get a job and car, who would watch your baby for you while you go to work. Daycare is expensive. You may be able to get some support from either his or your family regardless if you like it or not. You would be surprised how a baby can change the dynamics of families.I don't think that talking to him about this during the pregnancy is the best thing. He just got a new job, he's going to be a daddy (scariest thing a guy can hear), and probably is really close with his family. I would wait until after the baby is born at least to bring it up to him.
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