A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went on a "date" with a man tonight. We went out for dinner, and played pool, spent a good 4 hours together, talking and laughing the whole time. He has made me dinner twice in the past month, and we have casually gone to the driving range once also. He holds eye contact, and smiles the whole time. Also, he is 27, which is why I am confused about how slowly this is progressing. If he liked me, wouldn't he have made a move by now?I started this friendship with him, but I am not sure where we stand, as I am beginning to like him more. I thought I might have gotten a goodnight kiss after tonights "date", but that did not happen. He is very respectful, and I had to make the first contact, so he is a little shy as well. I would like to send him a text message tomorrow morning, thanking him for the evening, and somehow either stating that I would like to get to know him as more than friends, or to find out if he has any feelings for me. Any suggestions as to what to say?! Thank you!!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Honestly, take your time getting to know him. Enjoy that this guy can take it slow.
You have had.. 4 dates? all in all? 1 Date-date, 2 dinners and 1 trip to the driving range?
A guy doesn't cook for a girl he isn't interested in, unless he's already made it clear that he wants to be friends.
There is no need to hurry anything along. Maybe he is taking his time because you ARE younger then him. And that is being respectful.
Also, keep your conversations to phonecalls and face-to-face, NOT via text. Texting is good for making plans, logistics and checking in. Never have relationship that is based on texing back and forth.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 October 2011):
 I advise you to just relax and go with the flow. Time will tell. Enjoy yourself.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Well my response depends on if you are 18 or 21 seriously. If you are 18/19 maybe he's concerned you are too young to get serious yet?
I would not ask him via text how he feels or if he wants to progress the relationship but I would bring it up the next time you guys are together and the timing is right.
maybe ask him to meet you for coffee or something...
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Exactly that..tell him that you enjoy spending time with him but would now like to move past friends and into a relationship.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Doe Eyed Beauty +, writes (19 October 2011):
Dear 'I'd like to let him know how I feel' :You have already made a mistake by making the first move. Don't let him know your feelings until he declares his feelings for you.Most masculine men will run away from women who are aggressive and this may lower your value in the eyes of a man. Don't make another 'move'., Also, if you are single you should be dating more than one man and not so anxious to make a 'move'. This will help you keep things in perspective and not hang all of your hope one one man.Also, it give you behavior you can compare and give you a chance to see what is out there. When he wants to go exclusive you don't have to be needy and you can wirgh whether or not he is worth it. Also, I would encourage you to have active dates where you can experience fun, excitement and help him connect with you emotionally. THis will leave him on a high note and everytime he thinks of you he will associate with excitement and goodd feelings. He won't be able to live without you. You will find that you will have no problem getting him to express how he feels and when you reciprocate don't go overborad to saying that you want him forever. Listen to his words and don't commit to more than he does to avoid neediness and clingyness feelingthat may unintentionally relayed to hi,m. Good Luck ! D.E.B.
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