A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I think someone who I still have feelings for lives in my area and has recently moved here with his girlfriend,he is aware of where I live and doesn't like me due to what happened between us which I just accept and have learnt from it . I may be wrong about him living were I live but I think I am right as ive seen him a few times and his girlfriend quite a lot in the last 2 months or so in my area .His girlfriend knows who I am and I am certain he has portrayed me in a bad light to her , sometimes I feel sad seeing her as I get a sense of jealousy as shes with the person I like and used to speak to but sometimes I think it was my fault that I wasn't his girlfriend .The last time I saw him I wanted to apologise for my behaviour towards him and just wanted to be civil with him . Unfortunately as I walked closer to him I got quite worried about apologising in case he wouldn't care or listen so I ended saying something irrelevant and not what I wanted to say . When I see him half the time I want to cry my eyes out as its horrible having feelings for someone when they don't feel the same way but it was my fault as I pushed him away when we used to speak and my behaviour was odd at times because I was really worried to get close to him and I knew I wanted to be his girlfriend but I didn't know how to go about it so my defence mechanisms were being sometimes mean and just pushing him away so that he didn't think I liked him . Looking back I think I did this because it was the first time I have strong feelings towards someone and it was all new to me so I was unsure of what a relationship would mean for me as he told me he wanted to be my boyfriend. Other things have since gone on between us and now I just want it to stop and he has been extremely hurtful towards me and very immature .in the past few months or so things have happened in my life were I just feel that I need to reflect more and it has made me want to apologise to him, if and when I see him , should I apologise? if so how should I do this ? and if not what is the best way for me to cope when I see him , whether that is round were I live or somewhere else ?as im sick of feeling like I want to cry and want to just acknowledge that hes someone I used to know but I really think saying sorry would hopefully end the small conflict between us providing he would listen or are there any others ways of dealing with it .
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has a girlfriend, immature, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 November 2018):
 You know, OP
I don't think you OWE him an apology. Especially since he is acting extremely hurtful and immature towards you. He handled rejection pretty shitty.
The biggest reason you didn't jump in with both feet was because you weren't SURE about the two of you. You might think it was you being a little scared to date at all... but I think there was more to it than that.
I also don't think he is going to listen to you. If you DO give the whole "I was scared because is badly wanted to date you", well that is a day late and a dollar short, he found someone ELSE to date and you bring that up will only cause drama or make you seem like you hoping to break up his new relationship.
BUT if you DO get the chance - just tell him that YOU were just not really ready to date anyone at that time and that you feel you behaved badly towards him, but that it was you mistake not his. No more explanation than that.
After that? I suggest you block all access to HIS social media, and him from accessing yours.
LEARN from this. Next time you meet a guy whom you really like and who wants to date you, either go for it, OR be honest and tell the guy you don't feel ready to date.
EVERYONE!!! Makes mistakes. Chin up and STOP beating yourself up!
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (16 November 2018):
 You still like him and he’s not single, so no, you shouldn’t contact him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2018): Personally I think you need to just let him go. It is in the past, he has a girlfriend and has moved on with her.
The more you push for conversation/contact and bringing up the past the more it puts you in a bad light, maybe the feeling will be you are trying to cause trouble with them both and let be honest here you want to speak to him because you have NOT moved on.
With every experience comes learning from it. It didn't work with you and him, the reasons don't matter anymore, all that matters is you learn from it.
Smile if you see him if you wish to, forgive him for how he treated you, wish him well IN YOUR HEAD and accept it for what it was, a learning curve, don't do anything else other than to accept and move on in your life, his life, how he feels and anything else is of no concern to you now.
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