A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:IF YOU LOVED SOME ONE WOULDNT YOU DO ANYTHING ????????well heres my question,my fiance and me are living about 5hrs away and were still kinda young and not making so much money i seen him in july and now i am going crazy i want to see him now but cant as i dont have the money and he doesnt either at the moment we plan to go away on a vacation in nov. but i feel as i cant wait it is tearing me up in side i really feel as i would be better off walking away this has botherd me so much i can verly sleep or think i know we cant but i want to see him he and i both still live at home saving money for everything but i talked my parents into taking me in july, but he wont even do anything to see me now i have went to see him the last 2 times he says its cheaper for me to go there than it is for him to come here what a lame excuse i think and im feed up and mad lost of words and really would like some advise in what to do i know i may have left alot out but from all you read what do you think i should do ????????just so you know i planned for us to get away in nov. and all the details are not even worked out as he cant make up hes mind !!!!!!!!im still waiting on a phone call from him to talk about this im not a little child anymore and i feel as he cant grow up and i am at the point where i cant marry him right now intill hes more mature what should i do ?????????
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 If he loved you he would make the effort he wouldnt make you do everything, and as for saying its cheaper for you to see him then him see you how did he work that out? Wouldnt it be the same,sounds like he isnt making much effort and making you do everything do you really want to marry someone who isnt even willing to come and see you? If he loved you as much as you seem to love him he would be willing to move the stars for you but he doesnt even seem to want to travel a few hours. I think you can do better with someone closer who is more mature for you and not willing to let you do everything.
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (14 September 2007):
 it wuols cost the exact same for him to travel to you. i think is playing you for a fool. it's harsh but i think it's true. he hasn't made any effort in this relationship and he doesn't appear to have any intentions too. you're trying to hard and if it's meant to be it shouldn't take .persuation to see him. you said yourself, you're young, i think you should be with someone who deserves you're attention and efforts. relationships are based on trust and honesty, so be honest to yourself and him, you can do better than him. good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Well, it sounds like you both need a little maturing to do before getting married, not just him. I'd say you need to learn some patience. My wife and I married last year after 3 years of dating from different continents (a 10+ hr plane ride plus 6+ hr drive to see each other). Understand that when you're married, there are lots of responsibilities, hundreds more than you know of now being young and living with your parents. One of the main ones is about money. I can understand how you're feeling because, generally, women want the here and now in a relationship. You feel loved by being in close physical proximity. But not everyone is wired that way. He may be expressing his love to you, as many men do, by caring for your future needs together in marriage. He may be concerned about being able to support and provide for you in the future and prefers to save that money rather than spending it on immediate gratification. Granted, sometimes immediate gratification is needed. But don't write him off just because of this one instance. I'd like to recommend a book for both of you to read before you marry. "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Learn how each of you are wired to receive love, discuss it, then the other can know how to fulfill that. I can already tell yours is Quality Time. But his might be Acts of Service or something else.
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