A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 28 years old and looking to settle down and have kids. I get on really well with my boyfriend, we are both sociable and he makes me happy. However, I worried that perhaps he is not right for me if I am looking to settle down. He has little money, every time he gets paid he blows it on non-essential materialistic items such as dvd's. I have spoken to him about how I feel, he wants to settle down with me and says he will start to sve money, but I have waited for 6 months and have seen no change in his spending habits. He has no car or license and often relies on me for lifts. He lives with his mum and often stays at mine, so I am paying for everything when he is at mine. I try not to encourage to see him so often, but he gets hurt if I say I am too busy to see him and makes me feel guilty.He says he loves me with all his heart and I can see it in his eyes. But for me, I am not sure if he is ambitious enough for me to settle down with.I do love him so much and dont want to hurt him.Am I being too demanding?
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female
reader, juli3ann +, writes (10 February 2009):
At the moment it seems we are both in the same position i also want to settle down and was not sure if my boyfriend was right for me then i spoke to a friend who said that when you meet the right person you wont question anything about whether your suppose to be together forever or not youll look to the future and see the pair of you. I love my boyfriend and at the moment i dont see this im not going to finish with him as like i said i do love him but im gonna just see how things turn out i know its not a yes or a no answer but if you love him and he makes you happy then stay if not, well thats up to you x
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (10 February 2009):
He said he will grow up and you have said you have given him 6 MONTHS to prove this... why give him any longer than that?
It's 2009, we girls don't HAVE to marry the guy that we're not happy with, we can be picky and choosy.
Why settle for a guy who can't even change to save his relationship? Why make this guy the one who will provide for your children when he can't even pay for himself?
The fact you are on here asking about this says to me that deep down you know you would be settling for second or even third best just because it's convenient, you don't want to hurt him, and you've been with him for so long.
Get out into the world and see what else is out there. I think you'll be surprised that you stuck around for as long as you did.
Good Luck!! xx
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