A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It makes me sad because all of my friends have had their first boyfriends, first kiss, their first time having sex and even a couple have kids but that's not something to brag about. I have yet to experience any of these things and it gets me down. I would love to have a bf but guys never pay me attention. I guess I don't get attention because I'm not that pretty. My friends are super gorgeous and they have guys all over the place. What advice do you have and and please do not say confidence.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 November 2011):
 So ask a guy out! This is 2011, not 1950. It's just as scary for them as it is for you. If you like someone, say so! Ask them to a movie, ask them to coffee, whatever. I didn't have a real boyfriend until I asked one out.Also gorgeous women aren't guy magnets. Confident women are. The women I know who attract all the boys are not the most gorgeous, they are the most confident. The only thing they share is that they are all completely average looking, and absolutely drip with confidence (not arrogance). If you are confident and smile, it will go a long way.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 Well confidence is a big part of it weather you like it or not, if you don't feel that you are pretty well then how do you expect anyone else to see that you are. If you believe in yourself well then so will others.
Anyway besides that. It should not always be left to the man to ask the girl out, if you like someone well then why don't you ask them out, build the strength to do it and you might be surprised at the turn out of it. You need to take control of your own life and try for these things, because they won't just come and find you, you need to put yourself out there and take risks.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Yeah, people who say 'Be confident' have a semi point, but the real work is in improving yourself so that is is natural. Anyway, yes - it's true - really good looking people get attention without opening their mouths. Maybe not long term, meaningful attention (Although who knows), but they do. This is a fact of life. The rest of us must work for it.Many girls, especially younger ones, have this attitude where they should just sort of sit and wait for guys to ask them out. This is not good enough. And by the way, most girls don't think they're pretty - for all you know, guys could be attracted to you, but too shy to ask you out. It goes both ways.If you want attention, give them attention. Be fun to be around. You don't have to be the life of the party but you should at least seem easy going, fun, smile a lot - this is very attractive. Do whatever it takes to get you from sitting and waiting to doing some of the work. Try new hobbies. Get involved with different things. You'll meet a guy soon if you are proactive about life. Don't get hung up in 'getting a boyfriend' because that is a small fix to a bigger problem.
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