A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 25 year old student living in Canada's capital, just about to graduate college and start my placement. I have been in a relationship for 3 years, things are a tad complicated...especially when it comes to what we want in our future. My boyfriend is bi-polar, I do love him alot, but some times his manic states are a little to much to take. One minute he will be very sweet and the other minute he will get upset over the littlest thing, seeming to revert to the maturity of a 12 year old. We have very differing views on families, marriage and where we see ourselves. Ever since I turned 25 my biological clock has been going crazy, a lot of my friends are having babies and I'm starting to get a little depressed over it. I know I am no where near ready for children at this point, but my bf is totally turned off by it. I can't even really speak to him about my feelings, he tries to reassure me that perhaps he will want them when he is 35, but I can't wait 10 years to get an answer. I want to be able to at least consider it by the time I turn 28/29, I'm willing to wait till 30 but not wait till 32. I don't know what to do, I love him but should I really wait to see if he changes his mind or should I move on?
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female
reader, Psyche  +, writes (21 February 2007):
A tough question. Sorry you are going through this.
From my expierience when a man says he doesn't want children, he means it. Some women manipulate men into kids, but I don't think that is very honest or a good start to begin a family.
I think if there are also some heavy issues with your being able to cope with his bi-polar, you may want to consider moving on. I know it is not his fault he suffers from bi-polar but you need to consider yourself first before everyone else.
So if you are set on kids, you need to find a guy who feels the same. I also recommend finding a mate who has a similar background. Raising kids in a household where there are two very different parenting styles creates a toxic environment.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): It will be hard but you should probably move on. He's not likely to change his mind and if you manage to talk him into it, he won't be a very good parent to a child that he doesn't really want. I don't htink that you will ever be happy with him if having a child is important to you and he's against it. good luck
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