A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Several years ago I studied abroad in mexico and I became best friends with a young man at my school. He's very special to me, and I think I love him and I always harbored hopes of being together. I'm in the USA now but plan on eventually returning to Mexico and I thought that we would be together then. Now I have a problem and it's breaking my heart. He has a girlfriend, they've been together for nearly two years and he loves her. It makes me feel very jealous to see another girl getting joy from him, and it makes me feel jealous to see him loving and being romantic with some other girl. The anger, and hatred I feel are tearing me up inside, and I can't help it. I've been there for him and been a best friend to him for years. I'm 29 and running out of time to find a mate, and I've talked to him about how I feel but he says he loves her and he just cares about me as a best friend. I am dying to share my life with someone and I know that there's no one else for me. I know in my heart that I've always wanted someone like him, a boyfriend who is my best friend. I've always loved latin men and dreamed of having a boyfriend or husband who is latino, handsome, faithful and loving, my friend has all these qualities. The thing that matters most to me in a mate is someone who is my best friend, and since he's my best friend, no one else can fill the void. I don't want to live my life alone and be an old maid, and it just makes me crazy to see him love some other girl when I feel he was meant for me. These feelings are destroying me. I wish and wish that he loved me as much as I love him and I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I'm so afraid that I don't stand a chance. The unfairness makes me so angry, I've never once in my life loved someone who returned my love... and I'm 29!!!! I'm not even sure what to ask, I feel so trapped. I've tried and tried to move on with my life but inevitably something happens to remind me of how much I love him and it all comes back to me. I would like to win his heart but I'm scared that I've lost him forever. I'm so scared that I'm destined to spend my life alone. I would just like someone to comfort me? If you can help me thank you.
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best friend, has a girlfriend, jealous, move on, trapped Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks :)
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 You have pinned all your hopes on this guy and have probably put him on a pedestal a bit as being this super fantastic person that nobody could ever replace.
Sadly if he doesnt love you and only sees you as a friend then you are not going to get him to change his mind.
I'm sorry you are feeling so sad right now and wish I could really help but only you can get this man from your thoughts.
You WILL find happiness, maybe you have been pushing other people away as you thought you had your life all planned out and have actually missed out many times on happiness with someone else.
There is no magic cure here, you will have to retrain your thoughts and think of him as a friend only. Start living your life for you and try new things and new places. Love strikes when you are least expecting it and in the unlikelies of places. And when you truly love someone they become your best friend too.
I hope you can be happy soon x
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