A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my ex split up about 5 months ago.We were each others first loves.We met up quite abit in the first month or so, then i found out she kissed her lad mate, so i disappeared and didnt speak for about 2 months, in that time i slept with another girl.Out of the blue my ex text me late one night saying she had been thinking alot whether she made the right decision or not. In another message she put i just always wondered if id made the right decision or not, but uve moved on now so that doesnt matter.We went 4 a drink together and discussed it all, she told me she text me the night she found out about this other girl.Anyways since she has gone to uni (which isnt far away probs about 15 miles), ive been up on a couple of nights out up there we kissed a few times on one night, then i had a talk with her about us the next day. She basically said that things might of been different had i not slept with another girl. i.e. look at getting back together.She was speaking to me quite frequently, texts and on facebook and even called me once. Ive slept over in her halls twice (nothing happened), but we had a long chat one night just about general stuff going on in our lives.Any girls views on this, i still love her more than anything and really do want to get back with her. However i noticed that she said to onw of her friends that she is interesnted in these two guys at uni, she also said she is confused which 1 is best suited and also said you know what im like i never know what i want.Its unrealistic for me to ask what you think she is thinking without you understanding what type of girl she is. She is completely trust worthy, has her head screwed on, isnt a walkover at all, she is very caring and quite emotional.Based on all this what do you think is going on? i believe that me sleeping with someone else hurt her, might of even changed the way she thinks about me. Also i think she is caught up in the uni lark, going out, been single having a good time etc.Thanks in advance
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust an update to this, i wrote her a letter, she responded basically saying we cant be together because she says it would be easy for her to say 'yeah youre right' but she cant when something inside is telling her too much has happened and she needs to start a fresh and find whatever it is that will make her truely happy.
She also said that i shouldnt regret sleeping with this girl, everything happens for a reason. And also she said that she cant make me happy, because she cant give all of herself to me :(
so now i have no choice other than to try move on, keep my distance eventually become friends and take it from there wwould you agree?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): I agree. If you don't want to get your heart broken again, keep a distance for awhile. It's very unfair of her to say she's interested in getting back together depending on whether you slept with this other girl. That makes me a little concern about how much respect she has for you as a person. I know you say she is caring, but do you think she would be controlling? Some people can't help being that way with the opposite sex.
Continue to see her, but also see other girls for awhile. If she can't decide between you and two others, it's not right for you to sit waiting with all of your eggs in one basket.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): For now just stay in contact and remain friends.
Who knows what might happen in the future, but for now you both need time and space.
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