A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Im a healthy male in a steady relationship of 2 years, we get on great- have plans for the future and are trying for a baby.About three months ago though i started having erection problems...it was when she went to go on top and i 'bent' instead of sliding in...since then it has happened more than a few times (not good when trying for a baby!) and ive started NOT looking forward to ovulation week.I resorted to cialis (online prescription) which did help for a few weeks but now does nothing.Ive always had a good sex drive, and i was going to go to the docs, but- i still get erections fairly regularly in the morning when i wake up...or if i have an erotic thought im hard. So it seems to be some sort of psychological thing.My partners gained weight lately (a couple of stone) but i am still attracted to her, and love her... but i think the problem is now self perpetuating, i worry ill lose it...and hey presto i do!Anyone ever been through this? or had a BF go through it? If so how did you break the cycle?Thanks
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male
reader, Entropy_Anarchy  +, writes (17 September 2009):
Go back to basics. Foreplay. Kissing. Cuddling. If her being on top is part of the problem..go with your favorite position. Think of it not as baby making but rather college age making out.
A
female
reader, angelblueeyes +, writes (16 September 2009):
 Hi, This has happened during my marriage and does unfortunately happen every so often, ED often happens during a mans life for no apparent reason alcohol intake and smoking too can cause problems. I beleive when this happens to my hubby its in his mind and he worrys that he won't perform, you need to take the stress out of the situation and change the way that you think of it, you are love making because you love your partner and want to create a new life together not because "its time", i know it's not a good time for this to happen when trying for a baby but relax try other things like cuddling, kissing and touching instead of straight in to sex and in good time when you take the presure off it will happen.
Good luck i hope this helps.
Take care
Lu x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I'm not sure how much help I can be - my boyfriend used to have a similar problem. We found that being very serious about things - planning when and how to have sex etc., made things worse. When he had the whole day to think about how we would have sex that night, he would get so worked up that it would be impossible. So we had to try be more spontaneous. Maybe, trying for a baby is exactly the kind of pressure you don't need.
Also, we would spend time together just pleasuring each other, with no intention or goal of having either of us orgasm. If we didn't get to penetrative sex, it was ok. The point was just to enjoy each other, and be happy with what happens. I hope you are not being too hard on yourself - don't forget that sex is about fun and showing your partner how much you love them! Good luck!!
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