A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im really confused I hope someone helps.A few years ago I've met a guy and I've actually lost my virginity to him. he meant a lot to me and things were going great however I was afraid of commitment and I thought negatively so my thoughts were that I'll get heartbroken. So I've ended it with him. hes a different religion as me so being immature I told him the reason I couldn't be with him was because he was muslim and my parents did not approve (my parents didn't even know about him).A few years later we've actually reconnected, hes still the only guy I've slept with. But I found out that he actually had someone a few months ago that lives out of the country. I've asked him what was going on there he saiid he was single and last time he saw her was a few months ago. We took a spontaneous trip together and as we were driving back he got a phone call (which he did not answer) I glanced over and remember the name so I've looked her up and found out that they have spent New Years together. which is a few days before me and him reconnected.I understand were not in a relationship so he has the right to do whatever he wants. however I don't want to be hurt. He claims that he told her it wasn't going to work out. but I feel like he's hiding something. Should I just go with the flow and see where it goes with him or am I just leading the path to an actual heartbreak?
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heartbroken, immature, lost my virginity, muslim Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (28 February 2017):
Be careful how you approach this situation because your curiosity could stem from your own dishonesty in the past. You weren't honest with him in the past and even though you have re-connected with him, I doubt you told him why. Enjoy your random trip but keep your expectations low until you both can talk about what you both want from each other.
If you are worried about who is or isnt in his life, then you should be doing your due diligence and asking him stuff BEFORE going on random trips.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2017): It seems like neither of you have been completely honest about things even dating back to the first time you were together, when you misled him and then dumped him.
It seems you both have purposely left things vague since reuniting. Why don't you just have a conversation about whether you are a committed couple and what your expectations are? I think it is a bit strange that neither of you bothered to do this...
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (27 February 2017):
 I think I would proceed, but be on the watch for any tell-tale signs which suggest he might not be on the level with you. Don't commit fully to this relationship until you are sure you are getting 100 per cent of his loyalty and affection.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2017): You made a commitment when you slept with him, he's messing with your head and you are fooling yourself, after your commitment you should have stayed together till you knew it wasn't going to work, not just lose touch
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