A
male
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anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 18 years old and going to uni, but i keep thinking of the future. Should I be thinking about divorce at this moment in time and trying to think of ways to prevent it from happening to me? Also I read a question on here about divore, would getting married too quickly probably be the main reason people get divorced?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): How astute of you to be asking about this! Good for you. There is nothing wrong with asking about divorce and gaining some insights from various people. There are ways to prevent a divorce from happening, in one's future. But firstly, I can't really say if marrying too young will lead to divorce as it's mainly dependent on the two people involved...the level of maturity, compatibility, their sense of committment and how they deal with challenges. But I can say, marriage can and will fail to become a wonderful experience because many couples don't want to invest what it takes to make it a quality relationship. It take hard work, efforts and a solid committment. All couples have problems. But I heard a wonderful quote about marriage problems and why some people have trouble getting through it. It went like this " The problem in a relationship is not that there are problems but it when a couple thinks that having problems is a problem". Make sense? To me it does. If one cannot accept the problems as being just a bump in the road, and cannot deal with it together, then inevitably...they will view their marriage as a disaster and give up. My advice to a good, long lasting marrige.. 1) there will always be problems...but with maturity, caring and commitment, couples can get through them. 2) always remember that creating and nourishing relationships is hard work
If one applies this to their marriage it stands a good chance of lasting and growing into more a more seasoned, more balanced, steady love. It takes years, growth, nuturing and working through life's challenges, to making it work. It involves a lot more than passion and realizing you can't just get your goodies and self-gratification in the here and now. It takes and I repeat..a committment to build that foundation to build something meaningful. The people who get divorced are usually 'not' the ones who can keep making the efforts and sacrifice to develop the marriage and keep it going.
A
female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Hey,
It's fine to be thinking about the future and to be cautious of the things which bother you, but don't dwell on it too much.
These days being in a long term relationship and not getting married is not so taboo - and there's no divorce issue - although you can't avoid the same messy breakup.
Please don't let your worries about things like divorce stop you from having fun and dating people. You never know what's around the corner, but you sound like you've got a sensible hat on and will be able to handle it whatever it might be.
Take care,
Anon2907
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A
female
reader, Catlova +, writes (30 August 2006):
Don't worry, dude. You are not alone in this world. That is why you need to be wise about choosing a date. The best thing to do would be to get to know and spend as much time with your fiancee as possible, so you can decide if she would be the best wife for you. If that doesn't work out, move on and try other chicks, until you find the right one for you.
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