A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, a business meeting was scheduled with the owner of a company through common friends. So here i was walking into the conference room where he was waiting for me and introducing himself. he was very proper, professional and pleasant and towards the end of the meeting he threw a remark about my positive energy and pleasant personality which was very well taken from my end. 3 months later we met for the second time in his office and the meeting was very chilled, we have an obvious professional harmony and we discussed our mutual agreements and future project then towards the end i asked him about his health cause i heard from common friends that he has cancer. he said he's getting better and doing his treatment. he spoke about his children and wife briefly then asked me if i was married. I said no. 10 minutes later he was no longer eye contacting me and he started blushing i asked him what was wrong he said: its crazy how much you remind me of my ex. My heart beats everytime u walk into my office. My question dear aunts: is he being friendly? Or is this a flirtatious move? He's a decent man and very peasant with everyone but i felt it's a bit off subject.
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flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear male reader, thank you for your right advice and objective view on the subject. Ur absolutely right, only time will tell. It might be an innocent remark with innocent intentions.
Thank you very much for the right reply :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2017): Sometimes I find this website hilariously bad, because of some of the 'agony aunts and uncles' who reply. It's often the same ones that stir things up!I think most of us reading your story would think that you had some level of interest in him. But, as a man who isn't into cheating on his wife, what's wrong with a little imagination? Toying with the idea that somebody might fancy you and enjoying it?!!Regardless of your intentions or feeling toward him, you are confused by the potential that he flirting. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Some guys are shy when it comes to talking to girls about love and sex, you asked him a question and he answered- albeit with embarrassment!Maybe he does have a bit of a crush on you. Either way, this one comment doesn't mean he intends to do something about it. If you don't bring it up, it will probably go away. If he brings it up, or the flirting continues, then maybe he wants to take it further.But don't forget- some men, myself included, enjoy a little flirting with women. We don't intend to do anything about it!Anyway, it's your right to think what happened was a bit weird. But I wouldn't think over it too much. Time will tell.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2017): Hello OP.
Only you know the TRUTH when you are alone with your own thoughts. What matters is that you are true to yourself.
We only know what you are telling us.
They are just words.
Anyone can say anything. Especially in the anonymity of online forums.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear repliers, thank you for your posts and advices. Some of you might have misunderstood the large picture here or read wrongfully between the lines. I asked objectively and genuinely if that guy's comment might outline flirtatious intentions because the last thing on my mind right now is to flirt back with a married man, a father who's undergoing chemotherapy. I'm simply concerned that he wants to mix business and pleasure because i felt a weird vibe. Otherwise i wouldn't have posted here and asked for help and opinions. It's laughable how some people twist the subject and become offensive. I read my post over and over again and i'm unable to see where or when did i insinuate that i'm enjoying his attention and asking you guys whether it's ethically right or wrong to go for the guy?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): Hmmm. I would have agreed with Denizen myself. The fact you are here asking this question begs for anybody to read between the lines. So, Denizen was thinking what I was thinking. And likely what others would be thinking.
WHY would you even be here asking the question unless you had other motivations?
He is married.
THE END.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (24 February 2017):
 Dear OP thank you for attempting to clear up the issue for me. I am still struggling with the whys and wherefores. How can you expect us to comment intelligently on his motives, whether they be flirtatious, whimsical or friendly? You were the one who was there. What do you think?
If I misinterpreted your interest in this please forgive me. Sometimes reading between the lines becomes second nature. I simply failed to understand why you would ask the question if you didn't have more than a personal interest in his motives.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Denizen, i think you misunderstood my question, i'm not into him and strictly looking for business terms here. How did i come across as attention seeker to you if he's the one who mentioned the story of his ex. It's my lawful right to question his intentions even if he's sick and married before venturing into a huge business deal. Sort out your own issues dear cause you seem like you woke up on the wrong side of bed today.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 February 2017):
For heaven's sake what are you looking for here? He's married, he's ill, and he's a business associated. Are you so desperate for attention?
Be professional and cut the guy some slack. He is contemplating the end of his life. He has realised his mortality. All manner of scenarios will be going through his head. Don't complicate the remainder of his life. What would you have to gain?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): I think his comment was blatantly flirtatious.Some married guys flirt without intention. That means they like the feeling of other women finding them attractive. It gives them an ego boost. Maybe they have been married a long time and want to feel validated. Or maybe they are feeling low about themselves, like he might, as he is going through an illness, and who knows what else? But although he did cross professional boundaries with that comment, maybe it was just said in passing and he meant nothing by it.Or, he did say it purposely to draw you in. To open the door. It all starts with flirting. Which indicates interest. And some married men do intend to cheat on their wives. Paying you compliments. Being helpful to you. Being nice. These are the ways they manipulate and start to "groom" you for an affair.What I suggest to you is that you do not mix business with pleasure. That you do not get yourself involved with a married man who has a wife and kids. Why? Because it will be the worst thing you ever do to yourself. If you love yourself, you won't go down that road. Who cares if he was flirting? Do not engage or respond. Ignore it. And do not question it or add any fuel to any fire. We women are the "gate keepers." We give them power if we give up our power.The married man I have been involved with for 4 years this June centered me out and "eye fucked" me in the middle of a dance class he was teaching. I was his student. That is how it all started. Then about 3 months later, we ended up in bed. And have been having a tumultuous affair ever since. It has been the most incredible experience of my life but also the most miserable. I know it won't end well. I know it is toxic. I know there is no future. But I am now addicted to him. And I am trying to get out. But I am finding it so impossible; I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't sleep at night because of the anxiety. My self worth has plummeted because I am constantly trying to get his attention when I only have crumbs of his time. I am always trying to get him to love me but he never will. I keep hoping against hope he will leave her. But he won't. And now I am a broken woman. It is like he took my innocence and I will never be the woman I once was. I miss her sometimes.So, the only solution, if you were thinking along those lines, is to never even start. If I could rewind, I would not have accepted his invitation to coffee on a dark June night back in 2013.Please don't end up like me sweetie.You are in time.
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