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female
,
anonymous
writes: I feel so weird, please help. I recently met a guy who works at a bookstore in my local mall about a week ago; he made me laugh so much and was just so much fun to be with, that I agreed to meet him for lunch today. Okay, here's what happened exactly: I met him at the bookstore where he works and we chatted for a minute or two and he told me he had a hard day and I said oh, sorry to hear that and he came in to hug me and I was going to let him but instead of putting his arm around my waist, he let his hand graze my butt. I immediately demanded what he was doing and told him I wasn't that type of girl and told him that wasn't okay and he didn't even know me well enough like that to even feel that familiar with me. He did apologize and said he wouldn't do it again, that he was just joking,which myabe I should have taken that as an omen of things to come. We talked for a long time again and then he began getting too touchy feely again. At first he was playing around with my hands and then he started kissing up and down my arm, to which I was saying stop playing around and then he sucked my fingers! I couldn't believe it! I was just stunned, and it was just sooo weird after that-we did talk after that, and I did say to him that was very weird, don't ever do that agin but it's like he doesn't take me seriously--I drove him back to his car and he asked if we could hang out again and I said sure (I was just too stunned to really think it through)I need help to let him down and tell him I just wnat to be friends and nothing more. I don't know if it's a good idea to mention him overstepping my boundaries or if I should just tell him I wnat to be friends. Please, please help. Thank you.
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hi, just give me a last chance and see if he is really sorry or nothing has changed and then you can decided from there. Go out on Wednesday (hope it is a public place) and things might just be different.Good Luck,mail me if you wanna talk
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate the answers so much. Thank you. I told him I had an awesome time talking with him and this touchy feely business ruined it. It completely killed it and I am not that kind of girl that does that stuff especially on the first date and you're right, I did tell him already that I didn't appreciate that inappropriate touching, but he still didn't listen. Ugh....I just feel almost betrayed by him because we had such a wonwderful convo.and he behaved like such a fool. It's true: I don't know whether or not I will be safe with him. I almost wanted to give him as second chance ebcause I called him today and told him all these things and he said he was sorry, he has a very touchy feely personality but he wouldn't do it again. Ugh...now all I need to know is when to cancel witn him...he wanted to go mini-golfing with me this Wednesday night--I am almost curious to see if he'll behave differently, but now I don't think it's worth it. Maybe I'll call him tomorrow night and cancel or should I let him call? I wnat it to be on good terms because he works in a bookstore in my local mall I don't wnat to end up avoiding all the time..sigh, I just feel so disappointed in him.
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A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (3 September 2007):
Hi, just tell him in person. You better do it soon because this guy sounds like he is going way over your boundaries.Tell him that you have a bf (even if you dont) and that youu can only be his friend nothing more.Infact you shoud not want to be friends with someone that does not respect waht you say.He seems like a psycho, i would advise you, after you tell him you just want to be friends,try to keep your contact with him to a minimum.Regard,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 September 2007):
Ok well first off, good on you for having the guts to tell him to stop and letting him know your limitations, that can be a hard thing to do.Now if he was to obey your limitations would you perhaps consider being more then friends? If not then I think you can tell him that you just want to be friends and dont have to give reasons. However if you still feel that maybe you want to give him a 2nd chance then obvioulsy you would need to tell him your reasons, so he can learn to improve.Personaly I wouldnt give him another chance. You told him you werent comfortable with what he was doing and he continued anyway. Seriously what type of person does that? any normal decent person i think would back right off...and perhaps even be embarrased for taking things to far to quickly. but he doesnt seem to be like that...You also have to think about whether or not you really do wnat to have a friendship? when you say you want to be just friends, is that your nice way of implying you dont want to date him...and your saying 'just be friends' to soften the fall when really you dont want to see him again? if you do want to have a friendship then just say something along the lines as you think he would make a great friend, but arent interested in anything more.goodluck! let us know how it goes:)
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