A
female
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*una~
writes:I used to take ballroom dancing lesson with my best friend (a guy) before I met my bf. There are 2 things that bothered my bf partly because of his experience with his ex in the past. 1. drinking with friends 2. dancing/going to dinner one-on-one with other guys. It might sound like he's very controlling. But he tried his best to accept my best friend who's a guy and that I spend a lot of time hanging out with him (dinner, shopping, phone). This weekend, I told my bf I went ballroom dancing on Friday night with my best friend (haven't done that for 2 years). I didn't have to tell him, but felt I shouldn't keep anything from him. I thought he'll be alright with it since we've been together for a year and he understands he's the only one I love. After I told him, he didn't speak for a long time. He just put his head onto my shoulder and burried his face in silence. He was so upset that made me feel really bad. I wasn't expecting him to react like this. When I ask him what he's thinking, he didn't want to tell me, but just said that he's frustrated with himself acting like this because of his past. Later on, he told me this ballroom thing really bothers him. He view ballroom dancing as an intimate thing to do only with your partner. He's saying he's not stopping me to go out dancing, but just want to be honest with me telling me it bothers him alot. He also said if it's something I really enjoy to do, he won't mind take up lessons with me. But the thought of another guy dancing with me just drives him insane.I don't understand what's wrong with ballroom dancing with another guy. It's totally not intimate. At the same time I do not want to see my bf upset like that again. I love him very much. Now, my bestfriend's asking me to take salsa lessons with me. This will for sure break my bf's heart if I do it disregarding his feelings. Do you think my bf's being reasonable? Or should I persuade him dancing is not an intimate thing? What do you think I should do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): I think you should look at things from your bf eyes. Once I walked into my sisters house to find my gf dancing with another guy, and it was just a friend of hers, but this eats at ones ego, besides no matter what girls say no guy is just there friend. He may be in your eyes but I promise you he has other thoughts. If you love your bf, then respect him also.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 I think you should respect your boyfriends feeling on this and not go dancing with your friend anymore. I mean it's just the dancing part that upsets him isn't? No biggie to explain to your friend and it sounds very important to your boyfriend. He said he'd be willing to take lessons with you so take him up on it. Good luck.
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