A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I thank anyone who helps( in advance). I broke up with my boyfriend of twelve years in January. He asked for no contact and I did this. I found out that he has a mutual friend who has been keeping him in touch with what I am doing and his mutual friend has started flirting with me( even though he has a girlfriend) and I feel like a piece of meat a bit. I ran into my ex at a party a week or so ago. He called me over to chat, I went and tried to be nice but did say some less than nice things..the words just came out. I was wondering if I should call him/ text message or just let it go. I am sure I am not the first person to say something I regret to an ex and I will not be the last. All replies appreciated.
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Rather than call or text him, write him a letter, explaining what you feel. That way, you can rewrite the letter before sending it. If you call him, you only have that one shot to explain yourself and risk tripping on your own words and making the situation worse.
Believe me I have been in the same boat after a long term relationship/breakup/no contact. Then bumping into my ex at a party.
Needless to say she left in tears and screaming, and I was wondering how fast I could remove her from the gene pool. Not very solid thinking on my part, but when you run into somebody you really don't want to, its a crapshoot.
You start out trying to be civil and something snaps and you find yourself saying something out of line, or bad. and it makes it worse.
I would send him a letter.
As for this flirty friend, he's a jackass with a girlfriend who is basically seeing you as a potential piece of ass. I would suggest that the next time he starts in with his routine, come back with: "So what would your GF have to say about that?"
If he has any scruples at all, he will turn red as a beet and realize what an ass he is. If not, then you know should you ever have an appointment of destiny with him, that he will do the same thing to you that he does to his GF.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I think we all say/do things around a "newly" ex that we might regret at some point, so really, stop beating yourself up. IF you feel bad for you action CALL him, say Hey, I'm sorry I was an ass. Don't text it. That is (sorry if that sounds harsh) cowardly.
After that, let it go.
Now the mutual friend who is hitting on you, cut the contact with him as well, if you can. As much as it might be nice to be flirted with it seems like it only makes you feel bad ( because you have some morals and a backbone). The guy is being a jerk. ( To you and to his girlfriend).
After that, move on.
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