A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so to start from the beginning, I met this girl on tinder about a month ago. Lets call her Amy, Amy and I finally met in a coffee shop after two weeks of on and off chatting. She is really cool, we are basically the same person but different genders, same favorite games and movies and political views. It was great... almost too great. Anyway we decided to meet up at a arcade we both been to next week. It was going well. We start chatting with each other everyday and havent stopped until we met up again.After we chatted we kinda started making out. We went from 1 to 30 real quick. Anither date was quickly planned out. We decided we should go the movies. When we went things quickly got sexual in the theater. We both found out each other had a thing for being in public. After that the next date was planned for what was yesterday and it was worse. We almost did it condom and all but i just couldnt get off. After that we agreed to continue and to not give into out hormones again. She told be before this was he real first time dating a guy in person as her previous relationships were online. This was my third and to be honest my last relationships were pretty sexual off the bat but not as slow as this time was. Now in my mind I can feel my self trying to talk myself out of the relationship with her. Im thinking that im not into her and shoukd break up but i dont want to break up and seem like i used her for sex or do any more wrong against her. Is it right for me to feel this way? IM soo confused about ky emotions in this relationship. She seems like she has been enjoying the sexual encounters but i feel like its cause she thinks im gunna break up with her if i dont do this
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2018): You barely know her.
You had sex. A good time. That's all.
Time to move on if you're not feeling it. Better than breaking her heart down the road.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2018): All encounters don't workout as relationships. Maybe she isn't all that interested in being in a relationship either; but was just enjoying the sex.
You really haven't given yourself enough time to figure-out what you feel emotionally. You've put sex first, and sometimes maturity kicks-in and you ponder...is this all there is to this?
Be honest and up-front with her. Talk about how you feel and compare thoughts. Maybe you like her more than you think; but the focus has been so much on sex, that now your mind is catching up with your penis!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 March 2018):
 When women can't get off, we say the penis is not a magic wand, use our mouth, finger etc. When men can't get off, it's even more a mystery. Can't use the logic that you are not emotionally invested with her as you probably had gotten off with other women that you hadn't had the time to build a strong bond with yet. This is a toughy because if you were to tell her that you came with other women but not her, she might get hurt. The only logic I could come up with is that your bodies are not compatible. It's not just the size that matters but the shape too for both of you.
I am not going into that "you need to wait for true emotional connection before you have sex" advice. If she needs to know the truth, tell her. She can't really say you used her for sex because the lack of a finish took away the enjoyment. If she felt used, it's her right to feel that way and there's nothing you can do about it. If you have sex right off the bat, that's your style. You don't have to change what you do. I do feel like if sex can't be enjoyable, it makes a legitimate excuse to break it off.
If you had sex 10 times and you couldn't come, then I would say it's unlikely that you would. If you had sex 3 times, I would say try a few more times, different positions, locations maybe.
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