A
female
age
30-35,
*azuki
writes:To be honest, I have been trying to stop my obsession with looking at my boyfriends text messages. I have problems trusting people and I explained that to him. Also I went about a year and a half to two years practically living on computer/text messages. So I know how easy it is to cheat over it, flirt, or fall for someone. My current cell phone has a glitch in it so I can't recieve picture messages. I switch back and forth from my cellphone that can. I was using the glitched one and my boyfriend sent a picture message so I figured I'd check his phone later and see what it was.Well, He was a asleep, otherwise I would have asked him. So I got his phone and went staright to picture message he sent me, trying not to look at any other messages because I was trying to break that habbit and trust him more.Well, I see the word "nude" just kind of stood out sadly. So being stupid I click it and happens tha the was asking a girl for nude pictures. I just woke him up and told him to drive me home, because he drove me over to his house. He didn't know what was going on and was sitll groggy and didn't know i was even mad or upset. He didn't really realize until he saw his cell phone sitting beside me. he got a pissed look on his face for a few seconds.Later he asks "did you read my messages" so I just answer yes and his face just drops. "Hanna?" "sure. whatever just drive me home please"Went from there and he kept begging me to talk and when I'm upset I just want to be alone so I started finding all my stuff there and put them in a pile until he agreed to take me home if i left the stuff there. He convinced me to talk to him when we were in my drive way. My problem is- if they can convince me to talk it over with them they can get me to get over it pretty much right hten and there. I don't hold grudges though I am still hurt.I made sure to tell him I was hurt and that he broke my trust. That I don't know if I can trust him or the promises he made. I know it isnt like he had sex with her, but it still is upsetting. It wasnt enough to make me wnat to break up with him. I told him we'd talk about it more tomorrow, because it was about 12-1 am and he had work in the morning. during the conversation, he asked me to marry him. Which I toldhim everything tonight was too surreal. My mind was swampy and that I wasnt sure if i could trust him. Also that I didn't want him to propose to me because he was afraid of losing me. (We have been talking a lot recently about getting married. Working towards buying land to build a house so we could move our horses onto it later in life.)He's a good guy, that spoils me and buys me anything I want and I don't even have to ask for it. I've always wanted a horse since I wa slittle. He bought me one last week and is teaching me to ride. He's kind and goofy acting. Cuddly and extremely corny with his way of expressing how he loves you.randomly appearing with miniature roses or picking a flower off the ground and handing it to me. (ifits a rose he cuts the thorns off first since Im always hurtin gmyself)We've been together 4 months, and everytime I get mad about something (Usually little things that just irritate me, I don tlike talking about things when Im mad) he gets terrified. He starts shaking and worrying.He's not a desperate guy either. If we broke up he has several other girls, I know, that would be on him. He pursude me, when I hated him when we went to HS together. It wasnt till I was out 1 year and he was out 2 that we even talked. What do I do?
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Hi
This guy obviousy knows his been caught, but from what you have explained I dont think he would be the type of guy to do anything behind your back i.e sleep with someone. Unfortunately many guys get a buzz, turned on by sending and recieving naughty messages, he just didn't think. I wouldn't dump him just yet, I would give him a chance to reedeem himself, and if he dont then I would tell him your not going to put up with it. As far as marriage is concerned, definately not this soon. I would give it at least a year or two, really get to know eachother, because once your married all could change so easily.
hope this helped x
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I would NOT marry him.
4 months dating and he's asking other women for nudes and hiding it from you?
for me it's not the looking at other women it's the concealing the behavior.
if you want to continue to see him... do that... but if you continually find yourself questioning his behavior and if you can't trust him... bail out.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 1. Don't marry him
2. Don't buy any property tc with him
3. Take more time getting to know him, just dating
It's only been 4 months and already there are trust issues. You're defending him by saying that he didn't have sex with this girl. Does it really matter if he touched her or not? He's the one asking for nude pictures.
I would be very careful here. Forget the presents and the flowers. Look at the bigger things. And please take it slow and don't do anything you may regret later. He knows that he's made a mistake and is trying to win you back...make him earn your trust back, and no, not by marrying him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 May 2011):
 You guys have only been together 4 months and he is already checking out the "greener grass" ?
First of all, did he propose because he was scared of loosing you? Or to try and cover for his "straying"?
Personally, I would never date a cheater. It rarely just happens once. And I would NOT marry a guy after only 4 months, specially under these circumstances.
I guess YOU have to figure out what you will accept in a relationship and what you will not, and then, you better stick to your guns.
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