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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi - here is a question that has been annoying me for the past week, its about my boyfriend, Jason. About a week ago, I met a group of Jason's mates at the pub. There was a few of them, girls and guys. They were friendly and nice towards me, especially the guys. Two of the girls were a bit stand offish and I had to try hard to make conversation with them. Anyway, later they started teasing my boyfriend in front of me about girls who he tried to chat up in the past, ex girlfriends of his etc. They told this story of how he tried to crack onto some girl and she slapped him etc. I felt really uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say or do. Jason seemed a bit embarrassed and finally his best mate changed the topic of conversation. I tried to put on a happy face but I am a miserable liar and Jason picked it up straight away. I told him that what they were saying made me uncomfortable and I thought it was an odd thing for them to bring up when I had only known them for 20 minutes.Jason said that it was a bit odd but he just said that his friends are different to mine and they didn't mean anything by it - him and his mates often tease each other.I've tried to forget it but it just makes me feel a bit upset - I know I'm not the first girl he's been with, of course he has had exes and girls he has chatted up before me but I just didn't want to hear about it from his friends. It made me feel like I was just another "conquest" for him.BTW- both the girls had boyfriends so it's not like one of them is trying to steal him but it makes me wonder why were they being so strange when during this conversation all the guys said nothing. I just thought it was odd that it was only the girls who carried on, the guys actually looked a bit uncomfortable whilst all this stuff was going on. Am I overreacting? Am I being too sensitive or did his friends overstep the line?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006): i think it could be a clear indicator of what this guy is like. Try to get as much info out of these so called "friends" of his, seeing as they are so willing to share, if thats all they know him to be like then...possibly that is all he's like. Be careful, you could have a bit of a womanizer on your hands. Your not being oversensitive ...either they aren't really his "friends"...or they are and they have a lot better idea of what he is really like. Think about it ....maybe they are trying to warn you in a way which is too subtle for the guy you're with to pick up on, or deny, they obviously have no respect for this guy so you've gotta ask yourself why that is. When you find out what he's really like...you might find yourself thanking these "friends" of his...if i had of picked up on these kinds of signs instead of ignoring them....it would have saved years of pain!
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (13 February 2006):
 These girls are testing you, they are pushing the boundaries to see where yours lie, my advice is to ignore this and smile sweetly, try and engage with them and put there catty behaviour behind you, women cant be nasty to new people in there circle and they are just seeing if you rise to this or not.
This is proven by the blokes staying out of the behaviour, blokes accept new friends easier than women and lets face it you are about to join what seems like a well established "click" .
Hold your head high, be yourself and put the remarks behind you, make your own mind up about if your think these girls are worthy of your friendship but dont let one episode cloud your judgment, they may be ok when they relax and let you in.
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