A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy who was paying me a lot of attention on line. He was after a bit of fun nothing more - but I told him I wasn't wanting to go too far..Anyway, since then, a friend of mine decided she wants him instead and now I'm regretting turning him down as I do secretly like him, but was just biding my time until we met properly.The thing is he still messages me saying he'd still like to meet me, but he doesn't seem as keen now since my other friend is on the scene.I was shy at coming forward to start with and now I'm regretting it - and things have since have been a bit strained with the girl who now wants him understandably.I have since been a bit more forward when chatting to him now, but don't know if I've scared him off now. Will I ever get him back - or have I blown it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks - I am annoyed with my friend about it - but yeah I should've spoke up sooner. I wasn't on a dating site or looking for a date - he just found me on Facebook & charmed his way in - trouble is once I'm hooked - I'm hooked for a long time & I know I shouldn't be - as he's just looking for a fling - but emotions run high with me!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014): Yeah it's a bit of a crappy thing for your friend to do, but wish them luck and hopefully you find a more respectful guy who wants to devote his attention on you and you only - rather than accepting the first offer he gets...
I haven't personal experience of online dating, but I know my friends have has much more success on the paid membership rather than free sites. They met far more genuine people really looking for someone special rather than the next conquest. Good luck, try and enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2014): Thanks for your answers. The more I think of it - the more I think that I'm not really heartbroken - but feel more betrayed - that he & my friend just seemed to have hooked up without a second thought!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2014): You'd never met him, he come across as wanting too much too soon so quite rightly you weren't that interested. You can't suddenly be interested again now your friend likes him. If you were that keen you would have met him sooner or told her that actually you were just taking things a bit slower.
The fact he is still messaging you while he knows your friend likes him kind of shows what an arse he is. How many other women is he messaging other than you two?!
Write this one off as experience of online dating and move on to someone else. Eventually you'll meet someone who interests you from the start.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 November 2014):
 DIBS - should have been DIBS... apparently that got changed by the spell checker...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2014): Hi - thanks for the reply to my question - but not sure what 'dips' are!!
And yes - women my age can still be shy!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 November 2014):
So he is talking to BOTH you and your friend? And your friend is now calling dips?
I had to check your age, because I seriously didn't think people in their 40's called DIPS on a guy. I thought that was a preteen thing.
If he is talking to you both, he isn't serious. But IF he bring up meeting you, why not MEET him? Just make sure it's in public and you have a way home.
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