A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,So I've been dating this guy for a couple months. We made the offical date Nov 20 but its more like Dec 18. We had a thing going on between us (just making out and holding hands) but he never formally asked me out and I told him we aren't together unless he did. So in Dec, he went out with a girl for five days, fucked her, and broke up with her. Came to me saying that he made a mistake and we been together since.When we are together, none of this comes to mind. It's amazing like I really love being with him. But when we are apart, I just get so sad and upset. I feel betrayed and I don't want to feel this way. I'm worried this is gonna get in the way for me and cause a breakup eventually. But I don't know what he can say or do to make it better because it did happen. I was there for him and he still chose another girl. It's so hurtful, but I forget all my worries and everything when I'm with him. I'm so conflicted. What do I do?
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 February 2015):
" I feel betrayed"... Why??? You knew all the details before getting together with him...yes?
What part of "he went out with a girl for five days, fucked her" made you go YES!!! This is the man for me!
"he made a mistake" and you should have said "So did I, because I thought you were a good person, but thank you for showing be the truth."
You need a man where you don't have to worry at all...with him or without him.
Chance to correct YOUR mistake.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (8 February 2015):
 I think the rule about being official is a good one but a bad one at the same time. I really hope there is also a rule which says while we are deciding to be official that you and the guy just concentrate on each other. Guys who freak out because of this, want to rebel because of this or want to use this time to check other girls out don't really want to commit.
Guys commit not out of obligation or because you are nice to them. I would wonder if there is enough chemistry between you two if it's so easy for him to check others out. Right now it sounds like he's with you out of guilt and because he has to when you are so nice. You want someone who moves the earth to be with you, not deal with or handle a relationship so he's not a bad guy.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (8 February 2015):
Hi This is not a easy situation for you because he broke your TRUST.For you it will take time to heal and trust him again.I understand that when he is with you everything is fine,but once out of sight you are wondering -whats he up to-and that is very understandable -you are acting like anyone in similar situation.Talk to him again the way you feel and maybe he can show in different ways that you can trust him again.However would you consider counselling to help this rough patch you are going through.But at the end of the day you will have to put faith in this love and hope for the best.Kind wishes.NORA B.
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