A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf were together for 7 months then he ended it because we were apparntly too close. So now we are both single, 14 and see eachother around school. He gives me hugs and kisses and that... but its nice beacuse i like attention from him! But last saturday he met sum gals out and about and they have decided dat all his boys n her gals meet up in a park and play dares. He thinks this one gal is good lookin n dat n she finks da same 2 him. He has told me about this becuase we are close mates. But i am soooo jellous! i wont him... it has only been 5 days or so and i am not over him.. he asked me if i wod ever get back with him n i sed yes prob but if u kiss dat gal den i wodnt bcoz i just cant! I still care about him and i fink he still does to me. I think he tryd to make me jellous by sayin he is gonna finger her wen dey meet. but i know he wodnt.It upsets me to think he is not over me ... or is he hiding it??? or is pickin up sum slag at bluewater hu wonts 2 have sex and that with him just a rebound 4rom me or is he using her to get to me or is he just using her?Is it natural to be jellous... or am i over reactingI was really upset wen we broke up but i was in tears wen i herd about this gal! should i tell him this?PLEASE HELP MEE.......... HE IS MEETIN HER ON SATURDAYPLEASE!!!!!!!thank you
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female
reader, lena +, writes (12 January 2007):
 this guy sounds like someone i once knew. i'll tell you why i think he finished with you, its nothing to do with being 'too close', lads at that age like different girls every now and again and like someone new, he had what he wanted from you and now he's moving on to the next girl, but while he is doing this, he is making you jealous on a purpose and a guy like this is no good! give it time and you will get over him, there are plenty more fish in the sea, i know you don't want to hear this but its true, when i split with my ex everyone was saying to get over him and its hard! especially when you have been with them for a considerable amout of time. pamper yourself and go out with your girlfriends. experiment with boys and decide what kind of boy/man you want. you are young and one day you will find your perfect man, this boy you have talked about isn't your perfect man because if he was he wouldn't break up with you if you were 'too close' because that is what a relationship is about, being close, open and honest.
good luck hun and i can asure you, you will get over him it will just take time, be friends by all means but leave it at that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Yes, you are seriously overreacting! I'm sorry, but you said he ended it because you and he were getting too close. Your feelings about seeing him with this other girl proves his point.
You are both very young, too young to be getting this involved. Please, try to recognize that you need to back off and try to calm down.
I know it hurts, but speculating on whether he is over you or not, or what his motives are in seeing other girls is really not going to help you. You are obsessing about him.
Try to avoid him when at school and hang out with your other friends instead. Find other activities you enjoy doing so that you won't be thinking about him all the time.
Do not talk to him about her - it will just make things more complicated. Yes, it is normal to feel jealous, but as I said, do try to get your mind off him by doing other things.
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