A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Four year I have been battling with my sexual orientation since like 14 with being gay or straight. At the beginning of this I told myself I'll be gay since I'm aroused by gay porn and some guys. I never exactly got aroused to straight porn or girls so I said I'm gay and I'll accept it. I've started talking to guys sometimes too. Since I've accepted myself I'm getting feelings like no I don't wanna do this it isn't you. Stop. What am I doing? I'm so confused. Lately I've been attracted to this girl at school and I tell myself I'm not into her because I'm not sexually aroused to girls really. I don't know if it's because I'm scared and I tell myself not to get aroused or I'm just not aroused. Sometimes I tell myself try out a girl but I haven't had a girlfriend since like 2nd grade. All while I think about maybe talking to girl I say to myself you want get aroused if she wants sex don't embarrass yourself she might go and tell others. I'm so confused to be almost 18 I don't know what I am. I guess I'm scared both ways. What's my problem?
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female
reader, sweetpie-x  +, writes (29 March 2011):
You could just be bi-sexual, so you find men attractive but when the right girl comes along you really like her you may after a while find her attractive
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): we have a similar situation here...so here is what i suggest:1) let loose yourself for while, meaning don't think that " just because u are attracted to men" you have to hold back against this girl u like in school.2) get to know her better, be friends with her and see how it goes with your feeling towards opposite sex.3) take it as a chance to "reveal" yourself whether u are gay or at least bi...hope this is helping you.
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A
female
reader, melanie01  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 If you find yourself attracted to a girl go for it. Does it really matter what everyone else will think? Sexual orientation isn't a choice so dont try and push yourself into being one or the other. If you find yourself faced with the bedroom with a girl then try to not stress about it. Stress can also affect your performance. Take it slow with her and see where it goes. You never know you could be bi. :)
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Congratulations! You are on your way towards sexual self-awareness.It's very easy to feel forced into making a choice about labeling yourself. You are attracted to the same sex, so you label yourself as gay. Then if one day you are attracted to someone of the opposite sex, it throws you for a loop. Are you straight? Are you bisexual?The truth is: it doesn't matter.Your sexuality is not the same as your identity. It is far less important than you might believe, and being attracted to someone you would never have imagined does not mean that you have to question everything about your life and your self-image.Homosexual, heterosexual - most people are just plain sexual, and that's the way it goes. It doesn't matter. What matters are the connections you have with the people involved. If you like a boy, that's great. If you like a girl, that's great too. Be sure of yourself, and don't base everything on some sort of sexual label. What if that girl you sleep with tells everyone? Well, first of, so what if she does? Does it matter? Secondly - most people are far too involved in their own lives and their own problems to be as interested as you might think. It's a big deal for you, but they have their own big deals.Your identity is based in the person you are, in your ideas, in the way you interact with the world, in the things that are important to you. It is not based on a sexual orientation. Remember that, and be happy.
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