A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey I really need a good bit of advice to get me out of the funk I am in.To give u some background: at school from age of 10 to about 16/17 I was v.overweight and not very pretty. I was picked on but never picked to go out with! Boys used to always be horrible, same too some girls. Then I turned 18 suddenly I just blossomed - lost weight and looked like a model face features etc. Well this new found power was amazing - now all the boys wanted me and the girls who picked on me hated me even more!! I thrived off all the attention..But fastforwards to now (my early 30s) and I've def faded in looks. I'm still slim but not as pretty and it really depresses me. I know I sound shallow but I feel so powerless now no-one hardly ever gives me admiring glances. In a way I wish I had never known wat its like to be pretty and desired. I'm obsessed with checking for wrinkles and it ruins my day if I find one.How do I get out of this funk?? Btw I have a lovely boyf the same age but am terrified he's gonna find me unattractive in a few yrs and go off with a younger woman.
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 The power of good looks is very real, but very fleeting. Ask yourself, what else do you have of worth? Is there anything you don't have, but could develop?
Obviously, having never met you, I couldn't say what, but here are some ideas - sense of humor, femininity, loyalty, conversational skills, intelligence, cooking skills, friendliness, honesty, social saavy, and humility. Be honest with yourself, not too harsh or too easy.
Just because you lack a certain desireable trait does not mean you can't develop it.
Obviously, looks are important, but don't fool yourself into thinking looks were power, anyway. The ability to get free drinks from strangers is hardly what I'd call power. Especially since any smart guy will refuse to commit long-term over just looks - show him that you have far more to offer, and he'll stick around.
Looks get you guys, virtues (and good sex) make them stay. You have a boyfriend, show him your worth.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): I know a lot of woman who are vivacious, attractive and popular but not what you would call pretty in a conventional sense. It has a lot to do with self esteem. Goodness, if we all had to be beautiful to find happiness there would be an awful lot of unhappy people out there.It is a mind set and I think you should work on your confidence and sense of self worth.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): well i think if u felt that way ur always going to be beautiful...you gotta have same amount of confidence now that u had then...im sure u didn't change that much...i knew this one girl alot worse off then u...she was crippled nd couln't walk or talk right...and wasn't the most pretiest...but she walked down the street like she was the best lookin thing ever and if she cud b confident enough not to let her handycap bother her i kno u can b sexi =)...u jus gotta learn how to make 30 look good
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Personality and confidence makes someone attractiveness in my opinion. I have known many a guy who had a gorgeous face and body, but zero personality, and instantly I would be totally unattracted to them. But confidence (not arrogance) is also very attractive, people are drawn to confidence.
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