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female
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anonymous
writes: hi im 16 and i told my boy mate that i fancied one of his mates for a joke lol. and my boy mate went up to his mate and said will you go out with her? Then he said no cos it was all sorta like a joke between us. Then my boy mate asked another boy out for me just cos he likes teasing me cos he knows i would never go out with the people he asked. Then he said to the younger boy "why wont you go out with her? she has big tits". He said it infront of me and for some reason i was really offended by that. i didnt say anything but i was offended inside.My question is why do you think i was offended? i just dont really understand, i mean, isnt that kind of good to have have big breasts?but i just wanna ask why im offended and upset that he said that. was that disrespectful for him to say that about me?
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female
reader, pica +, writes (5 October 2006):
You were understandably offended because he said something stupid and personal. He's your mate so you'll know if he's generally decent - if so, he might feel bad now that he blurted that out. If he is a good friend you could mention it and clear the air - tell him how you feel so he won't cross that line again. If however this is the kind of thing he says a lot then you might want to be less of a mate. Good luck.
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 You're right to be offended. It was very disrespectful. As you get older you'll see that some men still think saying such things are ok, however old they are, so I can't blame his young age.
Some boys will be attracted to your chest before getting to know you, so this lad obviously thinks that having big boobs is a reason to go out with you. Sadly a somewhat stereotypical male response.
Anyway, some men like big breasts and some men don't. I doubt smaller breasted women or men who prefer smaller ones will agree with "isn't that kind of good to have big breasts?".
You have what you have and maybe they make you self conscious, but don't let silly boys' comments make you cover up or hide them away. . Be proud of your body whatever shape and size you are, but if you can manage to, the next time anyone says such a thing, tell them not to say it and it's rude. Hopefully they will then stop saying it. Just because you have got big breasts does not mean you want people to talk about them especially by calling them "tits" or whatever. It goes on behind your back but to your face is inappropriate. Don't laugh it off it's upsetting you, or it will continue - take it from someone who knows. I wish it had taken me less than the 32 years to object. Good luck and good for you for not taking it as a compliment, so many girls do and yet (unless you've had surgery) I don't understand that, as you've got what you're 'given'!
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