A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have been together almost two years now, and unfortunately are a few thousand miles apart for a couple of months. I would really enjoy the odd sexy email or text message but whenever I initiate a flirtatious message hoping to get a raunchy reply, I just get cut off and emasculated which makes me feel abandoned.It’s not just because we are apart for a bit – she isn’t very playful even when we are together. She is really hot but often doesn’t feel sexy. I do tell her regularly how gorgeous she is and how much I love her.I do love her very much and just want a little titillation from afar to keep the fire going!What can I do to engage her in this way?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Net Rider  +, writes (13 November 2010):
The root cause is that she "doesn't feel sexy" which can mean a lot of things from she's insecure in her looks or sex appeal to she thinks sex shouldn't be for fun and nasty to who knows what? You need to get her to invest in your sex life. You do that by getting her to do for you and not vice versa. It's gonna require a lot of patience.
If you can swing it, go see her while she's gone and tell her you expect her to be dressed up sexy and to have a trashy little nothing to wear when you're alone. I don't know if maybe she's waiting for you to take a stronger hand with her. If that's the case, maybe a spanking for not engaging in sexy talk is in order.
If you can't go visit, start talking about plans for when she returns. Tell her to shop for the sexiest thing she can find to wear for you when you're alone when she's back.
In any event, you have to help her find the right help to get to the bottom of her issues with sex. Best of luck to you both.
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