A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have an awkward question, I was hoping somebody might be able to offer some advice. I'm 24 right now, but when I was 17 I was date-raped. It affected me for years, and I had major self-esteem issues and trust issues. Now though, I've 'found myself' as they say. Been travelling the world, am about to embark on a new career, and am ready for love, should the opportunity present itself. The thing is, I've never had a boyfriend before. I've dated, but never had sex or a serious relationship. I honestly do think I'm ready now. But I think, if I were to date a guy, I should probably tell him about this, right? Would most guys freak out to hear this? I ask because there is someone I'm interested in and we are going out for dinner next week. I know it's really early stages but I'm asking now because I want to know whether or not I should tell him and if I should, should it be right from the start, right from the first date? Maybe it'd be too much, yeah? I really have no idea, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Tell him when it feels right hun. even if its on your first date. If you wnat to clear things up before you two become serious if you do then thats your choice. If you want to wait untiil the relationship is serious then tell him..again its your choice. But maybe telling him on the first date would be a bit of a bad idea coz he hasnt really got to know you yet. So he will be shocked to hear what you have to say becuase he will feel as though you are deffinetly expecting something to come out of this which sometimes will scare a guy away. If you two get a long and become intimate and romance is it the air then tell him when you feel is best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): This is not about being honest or not, you don't owe it to anybody to reveal this and any common sensed will understand that you can tell this when you are ready, as things normally progress and you feel you can confide in the other. It's too delicate to talk to a person who you don't know yet, you're only in the process of knowing each other. From the first date you can only infer how things will evolve. Wait until feeling more comfortable with the other before sharing your secret. You don't want him to start to gossip or behave awkward. You've been through bad weather and you say you have found yourself now. So go on this path and there is no rush dear, wait for the relation to be better "contoured" before giving things for safekeeping. All the best.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Well sorry about you being date raped but im glad you found yourself and are happy to find love and trust people again.In my opinion you should tell this man when your deep into the relationship and fully trust him with this. I cant say exactly when that will be or even if it will be with him but tell your other half when you trust him completly.As for how will he react its hard to say some will be OK and support you some will freak out, and these guys are not worth your time as if they cant handle that, there not worth it, and thats why you should tell him when you know and trust him fully. If its a week and month or years do it when it right.Good luck
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