A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I got involved with someone that i should have not and nothing ever happened between us and realised that i had made a error and never made contact with him again and have now met a nice guy that is my boyfriend, somebody that works for him told him that i had a boyfriend that was married, and my boyfriend went mental saying i should have told him and that this guy only wanted me for sex and no more, i told him that nothing did ever happen and no more was said about it until last night when i was at a event that he organised and somebody i know started saying out loud that i was scum and nobody should have invited scum like me to the event, my boyfriend started to say that the person that she had said was scum was his partner and i had to leave the room and accused him of doing this on purpose because he heard from someone else and not me about my past and since then he has not contacted me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2014): I posted this question.
He did not put her up to this as they had never met and what i meant was did he say in public about her saying i was scum as when she said it there was only 3 people including him that heard her say it but when he said it out loud there was about 100 people in the same hall, he has contacted me and said that he still loves me and wants us both to forget about the whole thing except that he cannot forgive me that he heard from someone else and not me about my past.
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (25 October 2014):
 I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, and that this woman tried to shame you in a public setting.
But if I read your post correctly, it sounds like your boyfriend was actually trying to defend you from the cruel words of this other person who called you scum. So the idea that he secretly put her up to it seems a bit farfetched to say the least, and your suggestion that he did so was probably offensive and/or insulting to him, especially after he publicly came to your defense.
In his shoes I too would feel insulted, because what you expressed with that suggestion is a complete lack of trust in him. You as good as told him that you think he is capable of going behind your back to hurt you intentionally via public humiliation. The truth is, if he genuinely cares about you, he would never actually do that.
Frankly, in his shoes I'd probably find myself re-evaluating a relationship with someone who professed to think so little of me. His sudden silence isn't the most mature way to go about it, but I suspect it's a sign that he's doing the same.
Unless there is more information you haven't shared that makes you think he was in on this, I believe you owe him an apology. What he does with it is up to him.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes.
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