A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Sorry I'm gonna keep this as short as possible. I am still in love with my ex. we broke up 3 yrs ago. One of our mutual friend told me a month ago tht she told him that she still likes me. I was super happy to hear tht. We broke up cuz I wasn't motivated n living in a basement. But now I bought my own house. Got a great career. She doesn't know nothin abt the house or my job. Now im swamped with work n she with stuff. So we decided to have dinner in 3 weeks on her birthday. Now here is where I mess up big time. I hired this guy to drive around n drop stuff since I'm so busy. He was very friendly. One day we are working n he says there is party at a hotel. It's wild let's go. Like ok. So we go and when I enter i was surprised to see it is a swingers party n there is this girl who knows our group of friends n my ex from school 4 yrs ago. I wanted to leave but I wanted to tell her to not say anything to anyone. So I said in one corner not talking to anybody waitin so I could talk to her. I got her alone n told her that I know but she denied she knows me. I didn't remind her either. Now I'm hoping n praying to god that she rlly doesn't remember me or she remembers me n wants to act Like she doesn't me cuz she was also ashamed to be there. I'm so afraid she might go on Facebook n look at pictures n remember me post it all over Facebook. Women talk n I know word will eventually spread. Should I deny till I die abt this or have a back up story ?? I feel sick to my stomach right now. I left as soon as I finished talking to her. I didn't do anything. I didn't drink or anything. I feel so ashamed. Help me.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2012):
 If it was indeed a Swinger Party I sincerely doubt she will be posting pictures.
And honestly, I would only tell your date about it IF you want to. But no lying, no denying it. You went... You were there. Nothing wrong in saying that this fella I worked with invited me to a party and to my shock it turned out to be a winger on, can you say awkward.. BUT with that said I would save the story til you two are on better footing again.
So you went to a party and it turned out to be a swinger one? Not a big deal, it's not like you let lose..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2012): She is obviously an experienced swinger and gave the stock answer, of I don't know you matey. She is cool, you have nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 August 2012):
 One of the cardinal rules in these alternative lifestyles is not to out anyone. Those who do risk becoming personna non grata. Most of the people at that party don't want anyone else to know about it either.
Either the woman really didn't remember you or she was mortified to run into someone she knew and was caught off guard.
Finally, I'd be very matter of fact about this, in the event that it does come out at some point. From what you wrote here you didn't actually do anything, correct? You went, you saw, you left. No big deal so don't make one out of it. And don't trip over yourself offering explanations because it will look suspicious. If you're casual about, then others will be as well.
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