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female
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*leachqueen
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 months and split up with my previous boyfriend for him. I have never felt love like it, but my family and friends are making it difficult for me to have a relationship with him. He is your typical 'bad boy' but he treats me right. (He has recently come out of a relationship in which he got hurt) but because of the hassle from my family etc., I decided to finish with him, but couldn't go through with it. He was upset and showed concern and said that I had to do what was easier for me. What worries me is that he didn't scream or shout or beg me to stay with him in fact he seemed rather cold about it. I don't want to finish with him, he said that he had let his guard down with me and know thinks that I will do the same again. Apparantly he is speaking to his mates about it and what to do. Somewhere deep down I still think he has feelings for his ex - he went to pieces when they split up. What do I do?
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female
reader, bleachqueen +, writes (11 December 2006):
bleachqueen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply and I appreciate your comments. What would your response be if I told you more about him? He left school with no qualifications,left home at fifteen,has a flat and has had several jobs which he left because he got bored. Has a reputation with sleeping around with loads of girls, does not get along with his parents unless things are going well, does drugs and has a drink problem, his previous fiancee had his baby aborted without his knowledge which hurt like hell.(found out from friends) I got with him about two months after they split up, he had a job next to where he lived but got sacked, for thieving. Feels the need to drink to sedate himself because the baby was due to be born around this time. He says he is crazy about me and that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. I am hoping to go to stage school in London next year to be a professional dancer, and he wants to come with me, because there is nothing keeping him where he is, my parents know about this and they feel that he is using me to get out of a the situation he finds himself in which is jobless except for a bar job which doesn't pay well and is struggling to keep a roof over his head. My parents have refused to support me if he should follow,but I would ecstatic if he did. To his friends and past g/fs I am a professional dancer. He tells me that he has never had a g/f who is as ambitious as me. Could that be the attraction. But I love him. He has on two occasions blew me off and went out with mis mates instead and then came crying to me saying that it wouldn't happen again, and know he is getting loads of text messages off girls asking him to meet up with them and what i wouldn't know wouldn't hurt me. He's told me this and his mates say that I have tamed him.Do I get out of the relationship. I am fearful that I will push him over the edge or do I listen to my parents.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 Oh, I have to say something about this,
"He was upset and showed concern and said that I had to do what was easier for me. What worries me is that he didn't scream or shout or beg me to stay with him in fact he seemed rather cold about it. ...he said that he had let his guard down with me ...."
I'm wondering if he didn't get upset over you talking about a break up because he really wants you to do what will be best for you and what will make you happy. He said he let his guard down, so he must really like you enough to do that, right? Maybe you should talk to him and see what he says about it. That's the only way you're going to find out why he seemed "cold" about the break up.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (5 December 2006):
Hi Bleachqueen,
If you like him and he treats you well, then I would think it'd be in YOUR best interest to stay with him. Afterall, it's not your family who is dating this guy, right? It's understandable that your parents are just wanting the best for you, but it seems as though this is what you have found. I'm also wondering if this is why you said that he might have feelings for his ex - so you can make more excuses up as to why you shouldn't date him. Sort of like to protect yourself in a way. Maybe I'm real off, but it's something I thought I should bring up.
I know when I got together with my husband, my parents totally did not go for him at all. He had 12" liberty spikes, dressed in studded jackets, etc. My parents, being really conservative, thought he was the total opposite of who I should be with. After I dated him long enough and they got to know him, they realized what a genuinely nice person he was. So what I'm saying is that maybe your parents need to get to know this guy better to find out he really has good intentions in this relationship.
In the end, who you date should really be your decision. While others might be concerned and have a right to an opinion, they have no right to make you feel guilty about who you want to be with or break up any of your relationships.
Take care.
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