A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i was close friends with a guy until recently. i helped him a great deal with work, money and was a really good friend supportive and loyal, but something always bugged me. It was the stuff he was telling me which i found out to be huge lies. even two of my close friends questioned stuff when i told them saying it couldnt be true. i liked him though so turned a blind eye but then the lies became bigger and more elaborate. i was very hurt as a true friend wouldnt need to do this especially after everything i did for him so we had a huge row and he said i accused him of lying and that i thought i was always right and to delete his personal number. i asked him if the friendship was over and he said he only viewed me as a work colleague. i was really hurt after all the time i gave him i spent the night on the phone in tears to my friends who said he wasnt a real friend and had just used me so i didnt call him again. then last night he calls !! i ignored the call but now i dont know what hes up to what should i do ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): You need to be pleased withe yourself that you have only given this man frindship, rather than a physical and intimate realtionship.
He definitely has Narcissitic traits, he will never understand what he has done to you, I know it hurts,and he will always try to make you feel sorry for him.
The friendship he has portrayed to you will have been for HIS benefit only, he will have picked on you because you came across as 'soft' or vunlnerable.
He will have shown you a false persona, and built up commonalities and connections with you just by listening to your likes, dislikes, etc, and his charm will have reeled you in hhok line and sinker.
Because this man has got into your head, and taken advantage of your good nature, you are feeling hurt and betrayed.
DON'T !!!! Get angry at him, see him for what he is and then run, run away from him, stop all contact at once, he WILL do it again to you, and again and again until it runs you down.
You have to look at your own self worth, even thought you don't want to admit that you meant nothing to him.
It does not matter, there are better men out there who will be sincere to you, they will respect you fro the person you are, and not the person they want you to be.
I am going throught exactly the same with a colleague, unfortunatley mine IS an intimate one, and my god it is hard to walk away, I am having to do it bit by bit, I fell in love with the person I thought he was. It hurts to think you have been conned adn that they only wish to keep conning you, but that is all they are doing.
Narcissists do not know feelings, remorse, guilt, conscience.
They do now know or even want to know that they have hurt you.
The only hurt they understnad is when the attention for them stops!!!
If you question or challenge them , they willl come back at you with a way overacted reaction, swear they didn't do anything, even if you have the proof in front of them, which I had.
Please just walk away, hold your head high, and think to yourself, I AM BETTER THAN THAT!!!!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 He sounds like a selfcentered moron. Delete his number, don't talk to him again. Move on. He isn't worth worrying about.
It seems like he lives in his own little world of lies, when he gets caught in one of them, he gets mad and "attacks". I am willing to bet this guy has no friends and is in fact rather incapable of making friends.
Be glad you aren't his "friend" - he is toxic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): He just treated you like fecal matter. I personally say he has some narcisstic traits so you will never have an honest friendship with this man.Narcissists NEED to put up a false front of how grand they are- they are better, smarter, more fashionable than anyone else and basically can do no wrong.http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/29808.phphttp://www.mental-health-today.com/narcissistic/dsm.htmSo when you approach them when they have done something wrong- you can expect a MASSIVE explosion and hurtful words. They do this to feel better and care not if they hurt the other person. They don't even believe they did anything wrong to the other person.Basically if you are expecting a Healthy Adult Male and a healthy, adult relationship; you are asking and expecting too much of this type of man.
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