A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, so before i had vowed my self to "purity" you know Abstinence, i really thought this was something i wanted to do. Wait until marriage and give my husband my virginity, something no one else could give or have. well i think i've changed my mind. i have masturbated a lot, watched porn, and even gave oral sex to someone before. And now all i can think about is loosing having sex with someone. i don't want to be a slut so i'm not just going to give it up to anyone but, i really feel that i am ready to have sex, good sex, with someone else pleasing me. um...idk, what should i do, my parents already think i'm sexually active,and there is one person i would LOVE to have my first time with, because i love him and well want to give him that part of me. oh and trust me, he's not pressuring me or anything, in fact he has no idea that i want to have sex with him. He knows how i feel about him emotionally, but not physically. what should i do?
View related questions:
oral sex, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennizgurl101 +, writes (29 December 2008):
You know, hun, the thing about being pure is incrediblay difficult to do. The thing about purity until after marriage is to save you from the pain and problems sex before marriage can bring. You see, once you give it to someone, they have it forever. There is no such thing as a 'technical' virgin. I have been sexually abused. A man that was not my husband saw and touched me in a way that has hurt me for a couple of years. You can never get that back. Imagine, one day, telling your husband on your honeymoon that you had sex with someone else. You gave your gift to someone other than him and he gets the second-hand. If this man is truely the one, you will have the chance later. If he cares enough, he will wait and not go through with it. You are only 16! Things happen. What if the condom breaks? What if you get pregnant? What if the man leaves you, cheats or dies? Then you have given one of the biggest parts of you to someone who doesn't deserve it. Yes, sex is incredible. It's something, however, that you want to save for the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. You don't want your husband to have sex with you and the boys before him. What if your future husband feels the same. Would you want to have sex with him and all the girls before him? I think not. I pray that you would wait. I wish I had. But, it's something you can never get back. I wanted the same thing. I wanted it too. I sucummed to the temptation and now I am never going to have it again. Did you know that a wedding dress is actullay a symbol of sexual purity? If you have sex before, it's like lying to everyone at the ceremony. And the porn. I am soo sorry that you feel that you need to watch it. It isn't real. The things they do are played up so that you are allowed be aroused. The sex you have for the first time, it won't be like the movies or porn. Everyone's first time is clumsy. It's very true. Purity will save you from telling your next boyfriend that you have morals and higher standards. You care about yourself. You are sixteen. I've had over 3 boyfriends since I was 16. I am only 18! Think about it hun. Please, please, don't make the mistake I did.
A
female
reader, tennizgurl101 +, writes (29 December 2008):
You know, hun, the thing about being pure is incrediblay difficult to do. The thing about purity until after marriage is to save you from the pain and problems sex before marriage can bring. You see, once you give it to someone, they have it forever. There is no such thing as a 'technical' virgin. I have been sexually abused. A man that was not my husband saw and touched me in a way that has hurt me for a couple of years. You can never get that back. Imagine, one day, telling your husband on your honeymoon that you had sex with someone else. You gave your gift to someone other than him and he gets the second-hand. If this man is truely the one, you will have the chance later. If he cares enough, he will wait and not go through with it. You are only 16! Things happen. What if the condom breaks? What if you get pregnant? What if the man leaves you, cheats or dies? Then you have given one of the biggest parts of you to someone who doesn't deserve it. Yes, sex is incredible. It's something, however, that you want to save for the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. You don't want your husband to have sex with you and the boys before him. What if your future husband feels the same. Would you want to have sex with him and all the girls before him? I think not. I pray that you would wait. I wish I had. But, it's something you can never get back. I wanted the same thing. I wanted it too. I sucummed to the temptation and now I am never going to have it again. Did you know that a wedding dress is actullay a symbol of sexual purity? If you have sex before, it's like lying to everyone at the ceremony. And the porn. I am soo sorry that you feel that you need to watch it. It isn't real. The things they do are played up so that you are allowed be aroused. The sex you have for the first time, it won't be like the movies or porn. Everyone's first time is clumsy. It's very true. Purity will save you from telling your next boyfriend that you have morals and higher standards. You care about yourself. You are sixteen. I've had over 3 boyfriends since I was 16. I am only 18! Think about it hun. Please, please, don't make the mistake I did.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Please wait. I speak from experience as I was married as a vigin just over two years ago. It was hard but I am so glad we waited because it's so secure being in a relationship where there has never been another lover involved and I know that he loved me enough to wait for me. Of course you want to have sex--you're a human being, but don't just think of the here and now...what about down the road? Don't base your relationship on lust. That is just asking for heartbreak. I can't tell you how amazing it is to be in a good marriage relationship with someone you truly love and respect, but I hope you find out someday!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): id say build ur relationship with this person first.. do not rush because there is no point.. concentrate on other things =) then talk about getting more intimate wif this guy
...............................
|
