A
female
age
30-35,
*riya2014
writes:As I have already mentioned in my last post that I broke up with my abusive ex and I told everything to my parents about him. But he keep on pressurizing me for a proper relationship , he wanted that I should forgive him and give an another chance to him..but due to his abusive nature and he also said many bad things about my character, I never wanted to do that I made my self very clear to him that from now on I don,t want to see my self in any pain,,I have seen a lot..now I can,t trust him. But he was not ready to accept this, I am from lower middle class family I gave his cell number to my mom, my mom called him and very patiently she tried her best to convince him they he should leave me now…our family condition is also not good and my daughter is not happy with you so please you should leave her peacefully..i request you very politely you are also like my son..but he keeps on forcing me by emotional blackmail.it affected me very badly I used to cry all of the time in front of my mom and dad they were also worried about me…then one day my father called him and requested him very politely that he should forget me… and let me leave peacefully they don,t want to be rude with him…but still he did not stop he said many bad things about my character, he said I am a prostitute. I sleep with random people.he started blackmailing me I told these things to my parents…this time my father got really angry, he said he will call his parents but I begged that please don,t do that…then suddenly my ex stopped saying anything to me related to my character from last 3-4 days , he started dedicating me love songs, he said he is very sorry but it was really making me suffocated, I stopped trusting him..many a time he repeated this emotional drama with me ….so today in my absence my mom and dad dialed his number and they scolded him.. My father verbally abused him in bad language and said many bad things about his upbringing and parents that they did not gave any good manners to him.. that’s why he is such a bastard….by nature my father is a very polite person...but he lost his control when he saw me crying all of the time .now my ex is saying bad things about my parents he said they need to learn manners , they are bastards..how dare they said bad things about my family and my upbringing he is putting me in guilt by saying all these things .i am really confuse…. All the time I am thinking my father did a sin by doing this thing.he should have talked to him politely. why my mother and father crossed their limit. yesterday he messaged me that he is changing he realized his all mistakes but today he messaged me that your parents spoiled everything.he made my life miserable many a time he said he is changing but from last 1 year everyday i cry because of him , my parents were well aware about this fact...they tried to convince him very politely also but he didn,t change...but why i am thinking my parents crossed their limit...actually i wanted to break up in a peaceful manner not in this way...i wanted him as a friend..but now this chance is also ruined because of the way my parents behaved with him...but now he is abusing my parents...
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female
reader, Answer  +, writes (9 November 2012):
 I am from India too, I know how it is. First of all stop blaming yourself and your parents for this man's stupid actions. Stop crying he's nt worth your tears. if you really want him out of your life, the very first thing you should do is to STOP ALL types of communciation with him. throw him out of your life, ask your parents not to talk to him/respond to him even if he calls them. seriously you should try to move on, rather than looking back. Your parents are very supportive and I think what they did was right. Dont givein to his words and emotioanal trap. You would surely get a better, loving, understanding person if you let go this sorry ass. be brave and be confident. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): If you're serious about having him out of your life permanently, then you need to start acting as if he doesn't exist anymore. Every time you respond or react to something he says or does, you are continuing the relationship just that it is not the same relationship as it was but something twisted and toxic.you need to just ignore him and pretend he is doesn't exist. No matter what he says or does, you must just not react at all, pretend that it didn't happen. Eventually he will lose interest in using any energy on you. This could take a long time, it could be many months or even a couple years. But this is how to get him out of your life, which is to already start acting like he doesn't exist. When he says something really outrageous, you just need to pretend he didn't say anything and don't react or respond. That will give him the impression that you have more important things to do with your time than bother with what he is saying. If you are consistent in this and never give him any attention, then eventually he will feel that he is wasting his time and energy and then he will lose interest in you and leave you alone.so you really need to just ignore him consistently. This means you do not talk to him, don't respond to anything he says, don't show any reaction, and the same goes for your parents. Your parents need to stop talking to him and trying to "make" him agree to anything. Everyone just needs to start acting like he never existed and doesn't exist.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (8 November 2012):
How is it that you all still have communication with this man?
I think your parents did the right thing and you should support them just as they support you. You are not a mother or parent so you do not understand how they feel. You ex, no matter what your parents did, he should have most respect for them.
I am sorry but your ex is a bad person. You need to stop talking to this man and move on because you are easily swayed by the things he says. You need to accept what has happened and accept the responsibility of your actions like an adult. This will only end when you let it end.
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