A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hiI know you can help me!I am a lady who has a friend who thinks that I am his wife to be. That's great but I honestly have no feelings at all for him. I am not even attracted! But he's kind, understanding and supportive.The first problem is that he's hustling to make ends meet i.e no stable income and I recently got a job.we've gone out a few times for a drink and he treats me with lots of respect.he's also about 10 years my junior.Help! I feel guilty because I cannot love him back but would like us to remain friends.I dated a guy who's stuck in an unhappy relationship) for two years and we were really getting along well. I keep wishing it was him who wants to settle down!thanksbella (confused by this dating business!) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (10 December 2009):
 Firstly I don't mean to sound tough herebut try not to let money or making ends meet get in the way of a possible true love. He might have difficulty now but later things could be much better for him. It's still a tough time for the world after the financial crisis.
But to answer you question I'd be inclined to let him know how you really feel. The worst thing you can do to a guy and yourself is not say a thing and walk away. 1 he will likley take it the wrong way and think you want him to chase you. It does happen and this is where it gets tougher.
After you've spoken to him and made things clear walk away let him know that you need some time and that's the end of the story. He will try to call and ask you out again but you will have to be strong enough to not pick up the phone untill he's gone for good. It may take a while but eventually he will have to let go and respect your wishesnif he want to also keep the friendship. Remember, most importantly tell him how you feel and what you want. Let him know that you need time.
After a while maybe some day in the future you may want to write to him or call him. Or in a few years he will try to call you to see how you are and then maybe things will be different.
If for some reason you find yourself still hanging out with him. Well I think that makes things clear in your heart that should not be ignored.
There's no real easy way, It takes time he will need it to get over you and let you go. If thats what you truly want.
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