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female
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anonymous
writes: I’m 25 and this guy I like is a few years younger me, I’m always quite shy around guys, so I blush whenever I talk to him and I find it difficult, but despite this we have a LOT (freakily a lot) in common and seem to have developed a friendship of some sorts which consists of an underlying admiration and intrigue in each other but its unspoken.I found out he’s a virgin, which made me like him even more, as I am also a virgin. However, I’ve lied my sexual experiences and now can’t really be honest with him (and how would I just come out with it anyway..).. He told me he just wants to be in a relationship to have sex and doesn’t think he will meet anyone and will stay single for a long time, and I was desperate to tell him that I was in the same situation.The other aspect is that he has a female best-friend who he spends 24-7 with…literally and they claim to be soul-mates and like brother and sister and also most of his friends are female. So this would obviously be a barrier, and maybe he might be gay.I don’t know what to do? We’ve not really got that much time left together now college is nearly over, I guess I just wanted to maybe lose our virginity together, because its sooo rare to find someone who feels the same as you. But just because we have this in common doesn’t mean he is the right man for me, right?What should I do? Just leave it, stay as friends and then say goodbye in a few months or be honest about the way I feel and maybe find some-thing really special, but then have to deal with the Best-friend and might be gay aspect and the difficulty in being honest about it anyway?
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female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 I think you should talk his friend, the female hes with "24/7" alone sometime... ask her about him... if you are too shy to ask outright if he is gay, then try asking her what he thinks of you.... or maybe even say that you like him a lot and would maybe want to date him. Since you are so shy i think it would be easier to talk to her about all of this, and then (since she should know if he is stright or not) could help encourage him to ask you out and/or set up a date for you both. I wouln't worry too much about sex right now, first find out if hes intrested in even a relationship with you. Then after you've both been on a few dates you will know better weither or not hes the right man for you, and if he feels the same about you, you can both start a really great and longlasting relationship. If all you want, however, is to have sex... then.. well... that would be a bit more awkward to ask his friends help for.... but you could at least find out from her weither he likes guys or girls. If is is stright... then tell him how you would like to have sex with him, as any stright single guy will most likely love the chance to have sex. Sex withen relationships is always better and more fullfilling, and from what you said about him haveing so much in common with you and you likeing him so much, i think its best to try to pursue a relationship first. Don't be afraid to tell him either way though that you are a virgin.... just explain that the only reason you pretended not to be was because you were emberished, which is most likely the case, right?
good luck hun, i hope all goes well!
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