A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi my partner and i have been together for four years . Alot of bad times in past includin him shall we say strongly persuadin me to have a termination sayin it was not the right time. We were both so skint and as i have two kids already and him a five year old i agreed altho was very upset. Now he has said he dosent want any more at all. I am so upset as he said when had termination we would in future now its never. I dont even know if do want one but want to be able to decide myself. I want us to have a child to make us all have something in common and join us all . Why dosent he understand that? And how come he had one with his ex? But not me even tho he says he will marry me one day. . I'm so confused, i love him but he seems to want everything his own way. Should i end it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): thank you for your answers. . . My boyfriend does want to marry me, it's me who is wary, because i panic. we dont want the same things. . Money situation is a lot better now, although he is still a gambling addict. . I appreciate what you said, but i honestly want to have a child, because i would like, when we are old, to have those memories together of our son or daughter. I do have such alot of love to give a baby!. My children often ask if i can have one. I fear it is because he thinks his son's nose will be bent out of shape, because he is so spoilt. It's like we all have to hold our breath when he is over. My kids are so kind and sweet to him. But he shouts at them demands their things and leaves toys every where even though i've tried to teach my kids to pick up a little. . He made me have a termination after throwing me out of his home. I'm back in mine, and things have been good. I think he never wanted to be a dad in first place ever , he is a seriously selfish man. I have always been there for him. forgiven him, even though he never does wrong, why cant he do this one thing?
A
female
reader, cry  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 men are from mars , they are so controlling . and want everything this way.. bla bla bla...no if you love him you should not end it . if its ment to be it will be .its ok if you dont have a child 2gether. think about the future. when the kids are moved out of the house .vacations ,motorhomes sight seeing ... it will all be sooner rather than later . you dont need a child to combine the family that you have . your marriage dose that and your love for eachother...i think you two need to talk and get on the same page. maby lets not have a child right now. but keep options open? hes got to concider your feelings too. and age and money communication is the biggest - to mess up relationships best of luck AK
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): It doesn't sound as if you are wanting to have a child for the best reasons. A good reason would be what you have to give the child and not how that child will glue your boyfriend to you because he won't marry you otherwise..or how a baby will prove he loves you as much or more than he did his ex. I agree with your boyfriend and you have a housefull of kids right now and money is tight.
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