A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:47,wife 46 married 24 years, 3 kids 20,18,14. Recently entered AA, now sober for 2 years. Spouse says I have withdrawn and she has fell out of love with me but still loves me. said she has put my attempt to be happy 1st at her expense. I have been unhappy with my career and am sure self medicated with boozefor years. I am an A type and not the touchy-feely person I assume she always wanted. She said she knew that long ago and wishes she would have acted on it then. So.... 24 yrs later and 3 kids she drops this bomb. She is ADD (on aderall) and is dealing with an alcoholic Mom that just lost her 2nd husband to cancer. We also moved out of state for my job and she is unhappy in new location. Both older girls are now away at college and thinks I am on a "dry" drunk.I want to work at it and she is very negative and seems mentally already checked out?thoughts- Thx
View related questions:
alcoholic, drunk, her ex, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 February 2010):
Your wife is clearly going through a huge crisis at the moment. You have admitted that you haven't really been there emotionally, and have been an alcoholic, you've admitted that you've moved and she doesn't like the location, and you've said her mother is an alcoholic who has just lost her 2nd husband. On top of that she's said she has ADD, and her two eldest children have now gone to college and she's probably feeling a little lost without them. That's a lot of problems for a woman to have to deal with. And the time has now come for you to put her first, no matter how difficult or closed to the idea she may seem. I would really suggest talking to her and getting her to open up. Ask what it will take to try and fix all this negativity and unhappiness. And listen very carefully to her. You've got off the alcohol, so you know you can change. Tell her that. Tell her that you love her and want to be there. Own up to not being there and say sorry. Then really try to get her to talk to you.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (7 February 2010):
By your own admission you have not given her the affection she needs so what do you expect? This whole A type personality story does not mean a thing; you just have to learn to think outside your comfort zone or you lose out. Visit www.kissmegoodnight.com for some tips on reigniting your marriage.
...............................
|
