A
female
age
30-35,
*lackHeart24
writes:Dear Cupid, It's been 7 months and I'm happy to say that my last bf and I are no longer together he chose his online life over us and I've found someone new. The man I'm with is like something out of one of those crappy love movies hehe; He's sweet, funny, a actual gentleman we literally have everything in common I can't really say there's anything about him I don't like about him except for the fact that every time I tell him something he says whatever I was going to say. The reason I'm asking for help is because as happy as I am with him he's a really good man but he seems too good to be true. He can tell when something is wrong with me and I wanna trust him but from being hurt so much I'm scared to. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (7 March 2014):
 The way to feel more secure is to pace yourself, remember that the man is human and to be prepared to walk away at the first red flag instead of hanging about hoping it will get better. By red flag I mean, not a minor human failing or small disagreement, but something that brings his character or his intentions into question.
You're seeing him at his best and there are undoubtedly people in his past who do not have the same glowing opinion of him you do. He's hurt others, most likely unintentionally, and been hurt himself.
Don't plan too far into the future, but enjoy each day as it happens and if it doesn't last forever, not to see it as a failure. You'll have fond memories to savour, a better understanding of how a decent man behaves and what to look for in the future.
A
female
reader, BlackHeart24 +, writes (7 March 2014):
BlackHeart24 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've been with him since October of last year bu we've been talking since September. He was really supportive in me trying to make things work with my ex when he was only interested in his online life, when things ended with my ex we talked more and got to know each other a little more and realized we had a lot in common. We've been together about 6 months now and it's been great no fights, no yelling but it really does seem just too good to be true because each relationship I've been in I was always hurt, to where I expect it now I've gotten so used to it
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 March 2014):
 Not sure how long you have been with the new guy but trust is built over time.... it's earned.
IF he does nothing to make you not trust him, then why are you fighting it?
just relax, go with the flow and enjoy it. Is there a HUGE DECISION or something that's causing you to be upset that you are not yet trusting a newish partner?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 March 2014):
What do you have to be afraid of? What's the worst that could happen at this point?
The answer, of course, is to cheat or some other hurtful behavior. But, the truth is that if he does that he just wasn't a good guy in the first place, so you can be thankful to be rid of him, just as you now are the last guy.
I look at every breakup as an opportunity to find someone even better. When you find the one it may take awhile to fully trust them, but you will learn to do so eventually. If you don't you may want to consider therapy.
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