A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've always been told that in an emotional sense you should never give a guy more than you're getting from him. What I mean is by telling him how you feel about him and so on...you know, let him be the first to say I love you, and so on.This is all understandable when it comes to a relationship where things are new and just beginning but what about established relationships?I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, we've settled into the relationship, we're building a business together so it's not new in any sense.But I still have trouble deciding if I should tell him exactly how I feel. He knows I love him and all that but I am scared to admit to him that he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm scared to do it because I don't know what his response will be. My gut feeling is that he feels the same because of the way he acts and the little things he says but I'm still scared to be completely honest.A friend on mine told me never to be the first to open up like this because then the guy knows you're a sure thing and will want you less. Is she right or should I just tell him and hope for the best?
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female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Telling him about your feelings will boost his ego a lot and he'll probably won't make the chase, because he's already got you. Most people think this is loss of interest, I just think it depends on every couple.
"I'm scared to do it because I don't know what his response will be." - You have to take this chance. There are 2 possibilities:
- If he's not interested in you, even if he confesses back, just because you said it, he will decide to leave you, before things get more serious.
- If you tell him what you feel and he gives you as a response a warm hug, a smile, a kiss and keeps up with this relationship, that is if he won't come off from you, you'll know for sure that he's returning your love.
Just be honest with him, don't be afraid he might get scared or something. If he loves you, he will treat you the same, he won't try to drift apart and run from responsibilities.
Best wishes!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): be honest open up and tell him your feelings, cause if you dont he will one think that your not bothered about him, i actually spoke to my man about him admitting his feelings last night, its LDR we are commited, but when on MSN hes so cold, he probably doing what your doing keepin all his feelings in, which is bad cause it makes me think hes going off me dont care all them feelings, he got quite a shock that i thought that way, see with my man he shows me how much he loves me with actions and the little things he does for me, not by saying he finds that hard or hes keeping it all in, which is WRONG made me say to him i feel i feel more than he does, he was quite shocked like i said and reasured me every thing is fine and looking forward to seeing me next time, so dont keep these feelings to your self please, TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL he will be over joyed i am sure, dont be scard thats what i feel my man is scard to admit his feelings in case he gets hurt, thats what it sounds like you are to me BE HONEST best policy. good luck
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