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I want to tell her how I feel, but I'm worried it is too soon and I don't want to be the rebound guy

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *ack Dawson writes:

I was 18 working at a grocery store when I met her. A beautiful, smart, sarcastic, funny girl. I trained her in the mornings for a few weeks and got to know her better. Her name was "L". She was 10 years older than me and already married. We were good friends at work for a few months until she decided to leave but, I wasn't ready to see her go. Her husband worked alot, and she was about to go back to school and needed someone to watch their dogs a few days a week; I agreed to help.

Over the next year we began to hang out together more and more. She would come and watch me play music somewhere, or we would both go hiking in the forest together. We would watch a movie, go get coffee, or just hang out. I knew she saw me as a friend and I should have been glad to have her as one. She knew more about me than some of friends I've had for years.

Because of her husbands job they never live in a place more than a few years; where we were being no exception. When she told me they were moving I got sick. I also knew she didn't want to go either. She had grown very attached to living in a small town in the mountains. She had told me of the 6 previous moves this one was the only one she didn't want to make. The last time I talked to her she was almost crying, we hugged and she told me that she would see me before they moved. They moved; I haven't seen her since.

I'm almost 22 now and I feel great about where my life is going. I'm in college, working a good job, volunteering for the community and I'm really happy except, I really miss "L". I know a few months after they moved her and her husband seperated and she moved back with family. We have recently been in touch but , just talking.

I really love this girl. The age difference is of no concern to me. I want to tell her but, I think its too soon. I don't want to be the other guy after her husband, even if we are good friends. I don't think anything works out right after a divorce. I also cant stand the thought of her being with someone else either. I found this quote that sums up how I feel.

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

What Should I do?

View related questions: at work, divorce

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010):

Good question you do what your heart tells you Build on that friendship and see how things go Rember devoice can be painfull and might change the way you looks at things its good that your there as a good friend dont rush if you decide to go for it with this lady friend

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