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female
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anonymous
writes: I have just started seeing this guy for the second time around. The first time I broke things off becuase he seemed to be going too fast. I don't want to sleep with him until I know him well because I'm really self concious but I can't bring the subject up. Whenever we go out if I'm driving I drop him off at his house and go in for a drink he seems really eager to sleep with me but never says that. I asked him what he expects of me this time round to see if he says anything but he just reversed the question. I don't know if he understands when I say I want to take it slow I mean sex wise. I'm 21 and all my mates sleep with people almost as soon as they know there names. I'm not that kind of person. How do I put it to him without sounding like an idiot? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, colorado girl +, writes (17 April 2006):
I don't know if I answered your quesiton earlier, so to keep it short and sweet, if you feel like he's after one thing, he probably is. And if you don't feel comfortable, you should do something about it before it's too late.
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female
reader, colorado girl +, writes (15 April 2006):
My advice to you is follow your gut feeling! I was in a similar situation at the beginning of the year. I told my boyfriend of only a month that i was planning on waiting until marriage to have sex even though i had had sex before. Basically, I didn't want to lead him on, and I felt like he expected sex or something because he always said how he has sex with a girl he's dating after about a month or two. Well, i stayed the night a few times (without doing anything but sleeping) but one night I woke up to him molesting me. When i was pretty sure he was about to have sex with me i said no, and he said "don't you want it?" i didn't say anything because i was in shock and scared, and he just had sex with me w/o my consent. i cried after this happened and he claimed that he was in his sleep and has been known to do that. he also said that if i think he raped me i should just leave him alone and break up with him. i felt so hurt, and stayed with him a bit longer and had sex with him b/c i felt i already had ruined my new purity before marriage and thought i loved him because he said he loved me after he sexually assaulted me. I also didn't want to believe that he did this to me, so tried to believe that he actually did it in his sleep. I finally broke up with him in january and made a police report, but there is nothing they can do since it was so long ago and it is my word against his. I just don't want you or anyone have to go through what i went through, and am still emotionally going through. Beware and be safe!
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 I think you have made it crystal clear that you dont want to sleep with him just yet so he should of got the message....but if its going in one ear and out the other,you might as well be talking to a brick wall...or he is suffering from selective hearing,either way...if this fella is not respecting your wishes then maybe you should look elsewhere,if you have to keep fighting him off then he is obviously after one thing and doesn't care on what you want...after all,its your body not his.
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