A
female
age
41-50,
*ookiemon77
writes:I would like to stop obsessing over my husbands friend that I have mentioned in other postings. I don't want this to be an issue anymore. I just really do not like her or think she is good for our family. Please, anyone, any suggestions???? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): and just what is she doing to your family? how is she 'not good' for your family? Is she forcing herself into your house and eating your food, spending your money, teaching your kids bad words?
how is this the fault of someone outside your marriage, rather than the fault of your husband? he's the one with the responsibility to your family, not anyone else. He's the one who's behavior and decisions you should be focusing on.
don't you think if you somehow managed to get rid of her, that your husband would just replace her with another woman?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 January 2012):
 Have as little contact with her as possible?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): I'll share with you something I appreciate and do my best to live by in regards to Affair Proofing My Marriage/Engagement/Long Term Relationship.
Its an article that is in keeping with my Parents example and teachings of the Priority of Marriage.
Forsaking all others means that the Marriage MUST come first. Otherwise any outside influences can easily surmount into often an attack at the integrity of the marriage due to carelessness or loss of focus on what SHOULD matter most.
With this, your Spouse and her Happiness is paramount. It is true we are free to form friendships and relationships but not ones that will result in the other taking the place of the spouse when it comes to Friendship, Intimacy and with this- where emotional cheating is not likely to occur. Clear boundaries are important, especially ones that UPHOLD the Marriage Commitments and Keep the Couple Loving, Honest, and Unified.
***Following from an Online Article***
Avoid Temptation
Experts are increasingly concerned about two temptation arenas: the workplace and the Internet. One recent study showed that 73 percent of men and 42 percent of women who have extramarital affairs meet their partners at work. Be extremely careful with workplace relationships.
• Don't take lunch or coffee breaks with the same person all the time.
• When you travel with co-workers, meet in public rooms, not in a room with a bed.
• Meet in groups, if possible.
• Don't drink and dance with co-workers at conferences or office parties.
• Avoid cordial kisses and hugs.
•Avoid frequent conversations about your personal life and feelings.
On-line relationships are also an increasing problem. Innocent chat room visits can endanger a marriage when someone discovers a "cyberspace soulmate." When the honesty that's missing in a marriage gets spilled out on the computer screen, emotional affairs can result, sometimes leading to adultery. Preventive measures include:
• Avoid discussing emotional topics or personal problems over the Internet.
• Avoid chat rooms and Internet sites designed for meeting people and socializing.
• If necessary, limit your time on-line.
•Use the Internet for productive activities such as researching family history or medical issues, not for making cyber-friends.
Remember that infidelity doesn't always include sex. Emotional infidelity can breach marital trust and become as debilitating to your marriage as physical adultery. If you are sharing intimate emotional closeness with someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse in any arena, including the Internet, stop!
http://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/Article.aspx?a=47
I haven't read your other posts.
I suggest you seek some individual counselling to aid you in sorting out your situation and to fortify yourself. If what you are feeling is a threat and attack on your marriage; you are justified in your 'obsession' but will need help in putting into healthy, constructive perspective to better approach the problem solving that is needed.
From there, you can make a clearer assessment if Marriage Counselling is Needed ASAP.
Best of Wishes- Hang in there.
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A
female
reader, twiggy63  +, writes (23 January 2012):
 do you have to be around her when she is about,maybe try cutting off from her as if she doesnt exist.....
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