A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I finally get over my ex and stop obsessing about him and feeling bad? It's been almost 8 motnhs since I broke up with him. He was controlling and too jealous, a bit of a hypocrite and too proud to admit his mistakes. Basically, 90% of the times, our problems were my fault. I was a devoted girlfriend. I did everything to prove to him I was trustworthy and that I loved him. He didn't trust me because of my past. In the past I wasn't too promiscuous, but he felt bad about it regardless. I lost my virginity to him, that should tell you everything... and he wasn't a virgin, so I don'e even know why he complained, if I didn't have sex before I met him. Just making out and some touching with guys, who were not boyfriends, and were just casual, yes. But I don't think it was terrible.Anyway, during these 8 months, cutting contact has been difficult. He tried getting back together with me for a while, swearing he had changed, but he didn't, obviously. He still thinks badly of me and doesn't trust me. I've met new guys, althought I've kept them strictly as friends, and they post on my Facebook wall, and somehow my ex has managed to learn about this, and it makes him mad! And he has accused me of flirting with this guys, and all that, like it was a bad thing. He says I make him suffer by this, and that he still loves me, but apparently I don't because I ignore him but I talk to these guys. I love him, but he was a bad boyfriend and I rationally know it's better to stay away and be cold. I also feel disgusting. I have a kind of pear shaped body, although not so pear... but my breasts are small and my lwoer body is bigger. My ex likes women like Kim Kardashian, he thinks she has the perfect body... and I have small breasts compared to her, and my butt is kind of big but not as big and I'm not as slim as she is. I once asked her if he thought she was hotter, he said yes, I asked him if he thought bigger breasts and butts were better and he said yes. I've noticed most guys like either curvy women like her, or petite women like Kylie. I look like neither. Like I said, I'm like Kim K, but a bit heavier, with small breasts, and smaller bottom.I can't get over any of this. To make things even worse, my libido is dead, so I feel no attraction whatsoever to no one. It kills me that he has his libido intact and must be checking out other women high and low, women who are sexier to him than me... and yet I can look at the hottest guys and feel absolutely nothing. I can only think of him. I only feel attracted to him. To me he was perfect... I thought his body was perfect... but he didn't feel the same way about me, and that makes me very sad, I feel so disgusting and gross. I want to lose weight, and I'm working on it, though I'm not overweight, and I'm working on toning, but my breasts and bottom will always be smaller than what men like best.How can I get over him? I feel ugly all day long and feel so much resentment towards him, but at the same time I love him and miss him, and feel jealousy and envy that he manages to have fun even though he's heartbroken and he's not as depressed as me, because his self esteem is intact, and he doesn't feel ugly or anything.
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breasts, broke up, depressed, facebook, flirt, heartbroken, jealous, libido, lose weight, lost my virginity, my ex, overweight, petite, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): ~
Sweetie, I'm sorry you are so upset...but...please stop for just a minute and recognize a reality: Your boyfriend is a loose wing nut so you really can't put much value into what he's saying. Think about it, he is so all over the place with his head that he can't even exist in contradiction. He is far from grounded and not even in touch with himself so how on earth can he be in touch with you. He's oscillating not just from left to right with you...but...all over in unpredictable directions. My recommendation is that you open your eyes and realize that he is not your Prince Charming and that his self-destructive behavior can do nothing more than deteriorate yours. Believe it not, if there really are more respectable, stable, grounded men out here that will enhance your life and not take away from it. I know this firsthand.
God Bless Sweetie.
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