A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:wen i first started to date my bf i was warned about him and people would say that he's no good, but i liked him so much i carried on going out with him but it always played in the back of my mind. i got told that he was interested in this girl and was texting her but she didnt want to no as she already had a boyfriend so he settled to have me. we were sat watching tele and he was showing me somethin on his phone wen all of a sudden a text flashed on his screen which just so happened to b a girl textin him. his reaction to this was really jumpy and he quickly moved his phone out of my view. i later talked to him about it asking who she was he then said that its somegirl he has known for ages and hasnt heard from her in a while. so i then asked him wat did she say. she asked him how he was. so i said wat did u send back and he said that he sent her back saying i had a girlfriend. well she never asked him that so its not somehtin u say hi i have a girlfriend wen she never asked. also wen he used to stay over he always used to put his phone on silent and with the screen pacing down, i feel he did this as if he was to get a text i wouldnt see who it was and for it being on silent i wouldnt hear it. well anyway he did change is sim card so he had a different number and that these girls couldnt text him which i think was good as it shows me he cares but its still in my head as has he got her number else where or textin her from a different phone, but he says hes not and wouldnt as he wouldnt want to risk losing me. so all this was just in the first few weeks of us being together which has always stuck. well were still together and i love him so much and i never want to lose him and he says the same too. but our arguing has just got worse i really dont trust him with his phone and always thinking he is with other girls. he hardly ever snogs me. ok he may peck me on the lips or put his arm around me whilst watchin tv, but i want more passion there and im always moaning about this to him telling him how i feel and nothin changes so we argue even more. does he just not care about how i feel or am i just being silly. please help as i want to spend the rest of my life with him and wont to b able to trust him but just need advice as it may b me who needs to change and not him.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 Hey I was wrote you a response before, and I was just wondering how everything was going now???
Let me know
Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, Cupcake +, writes (4 September 2007):
Im was in a smiliar situation and trust me its not you that needs to change... My boyfriend used to put his phone on silent or turn it off when we started dating and even up to 8 months into the relationship... It never much bothered me as he always told me he didnt want anyone calling and just wanted to spend quality time with me. Which I thought sounded great. He also never got detailed billing which shows the numbers you have called .. he told me it was a waste of money... I trusted him on all of this. Then about 8months into the relationship I discovered he had been talking to his ex about 5 times a month.. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed because she had already caused problems for us. I confronted him with this, and threatened to leave (tho i didnt plan on it as i love him very much) and he started to cry, which is something i never thought id see him do. He appoligised and explained everything to me and ended up cancelling his phone, and getting a phone with my phone company on a couples plan and got detailed billing so that he could prove to me this wouldnt happen again as he doesnt want to lose me and almost did.
I think guys tend to do stupid things until the realize the good thing they have could be gone. And its usually not until they screw up that they realize how good they really do have it. I know he feels bad now and though i have some trust issues I have to get over that if i want to ever be happy.
It bothers me that your boyfriend hides his phone, my boyfriend does not do that at all now, and when he was it was because he was lying. I suggest you do your homework since i dont think hes going to tell you himself. The only way I found out was by looking for it.
You will be able to trust him once you see that you can, as for now he is giving you doubts.. which was the same in my case, now that hes giving me no reason to doubt him I feel as if I will be able to trust him more now. Rather then wondering "why cant i just see the darn phone" "why does he hide it"... You need to talk to him or take it upon yourself to do the homework. Most people wouldnt agree with snopping but if i didnt do it I probably would have never found out. Its easier if you know the truth then your better able to deal with it and move on. Its the unknown that usually bothers us most.
Good luck to you and I hope everything works out.
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