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I want to solve this so I don't slip into madness!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *oggirl2007 writes:

Hello there. I am a 13 year old girl turning 14 in May, and obviously, since I'm writing to you guys, I am in need of help.

It's been months from the break-up with my first boyfriend of one and a half years. The reason I broke up with him is because I felt I needed to see what other people (boyfriends) were like. I did have a boyfriend recently after the break-up, but in about a month, I broke up with him, not thinking it felt right to be in that relationship.

Shouldn't I be over my ex-boyfriend by now though? I broke up with him last October, and I have been trying so hard (at least I think I have) to get over him.

We do still talk, but only occasionally, and when we do, it occurs over the internet. The first time we 'talked' was on the night of what was going to be our anniversary. He said we could still be "friends", though not close (I was quite thrilled by this).

He has a girlfriend, and has had two or three others before his current girlfriend after our break-up.

Yes, I still have thoughts of us dating again, but not as often and only on nights when I just feel terribly lonely and such. The memories are just nice to think about and then I picture us as if we were currently thinking. I just can't help it.

Oh, and there's another guy I like, two in fact, but I consider them 'forbidden' almost. The first guy is well, he's dating one of my closer friends and he's also my ex's good if not best friend (I have a thing now on not to date either your ex's best friend or your best friend's ex). The other guy is my most recent ex (the guy I dated after break-up), but my best friend also likes him and he's not entirely sure who he likes out of all the girls who supposibly like him. So pretty much he's beyond confused and trusting him to choose anytime soon is out of the question.

Pretty much all I want to know is helpful tips on what I should do to help me get over my first ex. I read somewhere that if you haven't gotten over your ex in a few months that you should seek help. Thought I'd write here in a form of seeking help.

He at one point meant the world to me and I know that sounds pretty stupid, but we /were/ together for over a year, so I kinda had enough time to fall in love with him completely (I think...hehe).

Please and thank you!

P.S. Please no comments on how I'm like...too young for a boyfriend and how I should be focusing on more important things such as school and whatnot. I know that, and I'm doing that, but I change my past, which is really what I'm trying to get over. Thanks!

P.S.P.S. Oh, and I'm happy! Don't think I'm all like, depressed and such, cause I am still quite happy with my life. I just want to solve this so it doesn't lead me into some sort of madness. Again, thanks!

View related questions: anniversary, best friend, broke up, depressed, has a girlfriend, my ex, the internet

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A female reader, Frankie14 United Kingdom +, writes (22 April 2008):

Frankie14 agony aunti know this might sound strange but have you ever thought that these feelings you have for him might just be for the thought of him, perhaps a little fantasy that your living out, does anyone else know what i mean?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008):

well, it's quite obvious that you still like your ex. getting over him will be tricky. i know it's comforting to think about him when you're lonely, but you have to stop. think about another guy. make one up. that way you don't develop any real feelings for anyone. talk to him minimally and keep it simple when you do talk. don't talk about the past with him, what's done is done.

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