A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a guy for only 6 weeks. Things were going really well other than he wasn’t feeling good. Long story short, his symptoms have gotten worse and he’s not been working much and under going testing and imaging to see what’s wrong. So far, everything has came back normal. I know he’s angry and frustrated, and isn’t used to laying around or being ill. He’s normally very active and healthy. He’s been much more distant with me. He said he wants to see me again but only when he’s well and apologized for being distant. I’m not sure how to handle this situation. Just let him contact me when he is ready? Or should I reach out like once a week? I have offered to bring him food which he declined. And I told him if he’s up to talking then he can feel free to call me. I want to show him I care but I also don’t want to be a burden or an annoyance. He told me it was starting to take a toll on him mentally and that he felt like the walking dead. Sooo just leave him be? Or is it a good idea to reach out sometimes? I’m realky torn . Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (19 December 2018):
 6 weeks of dating isn't really long enough for that kind of intimacy. He's not ready for you to see him like this and your not quite relationship is not strong enough to carry that load.
If it's been 2 or more months, as Honeypie says, then it's time for you to move on. You're not abandoning him. You're giving him the space he wants and needs right now. The space he can't have knowing you're hovering nearby.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2018): I'm sorry but it he wanted to see you he would, the 'tests ' have come back with nothing, what's he got man flu?
I think he is playing this up and stringing you along and being caring and clearly a nice lady you are going along with it.
What man wouldn't want fussing over if he was ill and liked the person romantically?
Either that or he is a hypochondriac and really thinks he has an undiagnosed fatal illness, I don't know something just seems off and I'm sure I recall your last post being like this, wasn't it his dog being on its last legs?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 December 2018):
 How long has it been since he told you that he needed some time/space to figure out what's up?
Because I think I remember you other post about this guy. And if you are the same poster, it's been at least 2 months since you two had your last date?
If so... then no, I'd move on. YOU CAN NOT put your life on hold for a guy who puts you on a shelf while he deals with HIS life/issues. What if he doesn't get better? Or still don't know how to deal with being ill with no diagnosis? How long would you wait? And what if he isn't quite as sick as he claimed or not sick any more, it was just a convenient excuse to NOT continuing to date you?
While I ABSOLUTELY understand that no one wants to go out on dates while sick and while trying to figure out WHY they are suddenly sick - it's been a GOOD while and you can't really sit on your hand waiting for him to pick up where you left off. Neither can he expect you to.
So, no I'd let this one go. And see who else is out there.
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