A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now, when I met him maybe i should have stayed single as I had loads of problems in my personal life but we got on really well and he made me feel better. Well things got even worse for me, I had money difficulties so I asked my ex to take care of the children as I couldnt even afford gas and electric but he took advantage of that and when I got back on my feet he refused to give them back to me. I started drinking alot and also took things I shouldnt, bothered with people I shouldnt. I got raped at my friends house a few months ago which just broke me. He's tried really hard to help me and get back on my feet, I've taken things out on him ans I haven't been very nice sometimes. I feel awful about it now, Im starting to feel so much better and can see maybe he's sticking around now because he's worried about me but I wanna try hard to make things right now. What can I do to show someone how much they mean and say sorry.
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (17 October 2013):
 This lovely guy is a true friend and is supporting you because he wants to help and believes in you.
You've been through a tough time but your response to all these horrible and worrying events has been to self destruct.
Stop hurting yourself more and take control.
You need to report the rape and get some professional help and counselling for this, your drinking and your low self esteem.
Once you start putting your life back in order you can work on access to your children.
You need to get to know them again. It's rotten what your ex has done but your children's needs MUST come first.
If they are happy and settled where they are then maybe you can have regular access visits so that you spend regular quality time with them. If they're not so settled then you can start making moves to get them back.
Go through proper channels and get social services on your side and get good legal advice.
Before you make any arrangements for the children you MUST get your life turned around and be able to prove that you can provide them with a home and that you have the means to support them.
I think the best way you can say thank you to this friend is to get your life back on track, this will show him that you appreciate his friendship and that he's helped you.
As you recover let him know that it was his unfailing friendship that put you on the path to recovery. I think that will be all the thanks he needs :)
You've had a tough time, my love, and I feel for you but now is the time to stop being a victim and start being a survivor.
I wish you well and hope this helps AB x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2013): I understand the pain and torment you have been through. My friend went through similar things you did. You just told millions of people a heart wrenching story. Take your friend somewhere quiet and tell him what you just told everybody. Then tell him how he has helped you and that you really appreciate what he has done for you. Judging by what you have said so far about him what you say will be more than enough right now to show your appreciation and thank-you. If necessary seek help from professionals to aid in your recovery. Nothing is impossible with hard work and help from people who are truly your friends.Be brave and courageous and move ahead with confidence in knowing that somebody really cares about you. That is probably the single gift that will be worth more than anybody else can do for you.
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