A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Thanks to all who respond to this question.My cousin has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and I would like to see him soon.He has been having a hard go with the chemo. He has told his sister in Vancouver that he is not going through with it anymore. Sadly it seems that the chemo is not working.On a whim my sister called my cousin and they are beside themselves with worry. My sister has taken it upon herself that she will go and remedy the situation. I had offered to go his city this weekend to join her and see him. The family had asked that we both not be there which was hurtful and they initially did not want my sister either until they asked my cousin.I have been sending book certificates to him and texting but I want to see him but my sister has said no.I am in his home city this weekend but suspect I would have more chance to see the Pope.My sister is a good person but she is concerned with how she looks...optics. He may have a couple of months left.She has posted pictures of her and him at the hospital.My take on it is that perhaps I am not on his preferred list and he has lots of family and friends to be there with him.My sister seemed almost defensive when I mentioned the book certificates.I have very little family and want to say goodbye but will I have to settle for a final phone call. This is about him and that is what I will settle for if that is what he wants.I thought I would be in his city this weekend and give him a call when I am there.I am at a loss. I do not know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2021): This is not about you, it is about him. If people hesitate to let you speak to your cousin or skype it's because you are making it clear that this is all about you and for your benefit. He is very ill and will be struggling and dead soon. Does he want to spend some of that very precious time he has left on making you feel better? Would it upset him in the process? It may well do!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 October 2021):
 Try and see if you can skype with him. He should be the one to decide if he wants to see you in person, no one else.
So call and talk to him. But don't try and put pressure on him. HIS call 100%.
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